Most people crumble the second someone hurls an insult their way. You, me, everyone. But this short episode throws a Zen-sized wrench into that reaction with one of the simplest, hardest truths in spiritual awakening:
You only suffer when you accept the insult that was handed to you.
Will reads “The Gift of Insults,” a powerful parable from The Monk and the Butterfly that reveals why your peace isn’t actually as fragile as you think...it’s just mismanaged. And then he goes off-script into a raw, honest reflection on triggers, the pain-body, energy dynamics, and why letting people “take your peace” is a decision… not an inevitability.
This is one of those deceptively small episodes that lands like a tuning fork in your chest.
What You’ll Learn
- Why insults are “gifts”, and how not accepting them changes everything
- How your pain-body hijacks your reactions (thanks, Eckhart Tolle)
- Why people try to steal your energy, and how offering it freely disarms them
- A practical approach to staying grounded when someone comes at you sideways
- How triggers point to deeper inner work you’ve been avoiding
- Why protecting your peace is a skill… and one you probably haven’t mastered ye
- How this same lesson plays out with his daughter
- When “not accepting the gift” becomes spiritual bypassing
- Why understanding the energetics behind conflict changes how you handle it
- How to stop giving away your power without becoming cold, detached, or numb
If you’re on a spiritual path, you’re going to be challenged, often by the exact people who know how to push your buttons. This episode gives you the framework to stop getting dragged around by other people’s emotional chaos.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about awareness. Control. Choice.
Perfect For You If:
- You’re tired of absorbing other people’s crap
- You react too quickly and regret it
- You’re working on boundaries or emotional intelligence
- You’re ready to level up your spiritual resilience
A 5-star review on Apple Podcasts is the single most powerful way to support the show and help these messages reach more people. It takes one minute and it means the world to us.
Subscribe, Rate & Review!
If you found this episode enlightening, mind-expanding, or even just thought-provoking (see what we did there?), please take a moment to rate and review us. Your feedback helps us bring more transformative guests and topics your way!
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WEBVTT
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Either Welcome back to another episode of the Skeptic Metaphysicians. Today,
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I'm going to be reading from one of my favorite books,
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The Monk and the Butterfly, Stories of Zen and the
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Art of Change. The stories called the Gift of Insults,
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and it goes like this. In a small village, nestled
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among rolling hills and tranquil streams, there lived a zen
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master named Kaido, known throughout the region for his unwavering
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calm and profound wisdom. Master Kaito's presence was a source
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of peace in the village, where he spent his days
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teaching the principles of Zen to all who sought his guidance.
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His gentle demeanor and serene smile had a way of
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easing troubled minds, and his wisdom was both simple and profound,
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often conveyed through parables and quiet reflections. One day, a
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visitor from a distant land arrived in the village. The
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visitor had heard of Master Kaito's reputation for tranquility and
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was determined to challenge it. Known for his quick temper
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and sharp tongue, the visitor believed that no one could
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be as calm as the stories suggested, and He sought
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to prove that Master Kaito's peace was nothing more than
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an illusion, something that could be easily shattered by the
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right provocation. The visitor waited until Master Kaito was seated
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in the village square, where he often meditated or spoke
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with those who came to seek his wisdom. The village
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square was bustling that day, with merchants selling their wares
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and villagers going about their daily routines. As the visitor approached,
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people began to gather, sensing that something unusual was about
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to happen. Without warning, the visitor launched into a tirade
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of insults. His voice rang out across the square, Filled
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with venom and spite, he hurled insult after insult at
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Master Kaito, each word sharper than last, designed to provoke
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and unsettle the calm that surrounded the Master like an aura.
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The villagers, drawn by the commotion, stopped what they were
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doing and gathered around. They watched in silence, their breaths held,
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waiting to see how Master Kaito would respond to such
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an attack. Some of them, having experienced the Master's wisdom,
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were confident he would remained unmoved. Others, curious and skeptical,
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wondered if this visitor might finally break the legendary serenity
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of the zen master A. Master Kaito sat quietly, his
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expression unchanged as the visitor's words rained down on him.
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He listened attentively, his hands resting gently in his lap,
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a small, gentle smile playing on his lips. His eyes
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were soft, filled with compassion, as if he could see
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beyond the visitor's harsh words to the turmoil that lay
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within him. The insults flowed like a bitter river, but
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Master Kaito remained a rock in its mists, unshaken and undisturbed.
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After what felt like an eternity, the visitor finally paused,
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panting slightly from the effort of his verbal assault. He
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had expected anger, or at least a defensive reaction, but
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seeing none, he was confused. He stood before the Master,
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his chest heaving, waiting for a response, certain that his
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words must have landed their mark. Master Kaito looked up
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at the visitor, his smile never wavering. He spoke softly,
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his voice as calm as ever. If someone offers you
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a gift and you choose not to accept it, to
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whom does the gift belong. While the visitor blinked, caught
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off guard by the question, he stammered, it it remains
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with the giver, of course, mister Kaito nodded, exactly, just
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like your insults. You offered them to me, but I
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chose not to accept them. They remain yours. The visitor
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stared at him, speechless. The crowd, too was silent, absorbing
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this simplicity and power of the Master's words. In that
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single moment, Master Kaiko had not only deflected the visitor's insults,
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but had also turned the encounter and into a profound
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lesson in positive thinking and inner peace. Insults, Master Kaito
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continued gently, are like gifts. When someone offers you an insult,
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you have the choice to accept it or not. If
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you refuse to accept it, the insult will It stays
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with the one who gave it, and your peace remains unbroken.
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You see, our serenity is not dependent on the actions
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or words of others, but on how we choose to respond.
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By refusing to accept negativity, we retain control over our
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own happiness. The visitor, who had come with the intention
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of disrupting the Master's peace, found in himself, found himself
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humbled by the encounter, you realize that Master Kaito's calm
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was not a facade, but a deep and genuine peace
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that could not be shaken by mere words. The Master's
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wisdom had turned the visitor's own bitterness back on him,
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but not with anger or malice, only with compassion and understanding.
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Well humble, the visitor bowed deeply before Master Kaito. Thank
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you for your lesson. Master, he said, his voice now
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quiet and sincere. I came here with anger in my heart,
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but you have shown me the power of a peaceful mind.
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Master Kaito smiled warmly and bowed in return. May you
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find peace within yourself, he said. The visitor, transformed by
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the encounter, left the village with a lighter heart, carrying
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the lesson of Master Kaito with him. As for the villagers,
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they too walked away with a deeper understanding. They realized
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that the power of positive thinking lay not in denying
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the challenges of life, but in choosing how to respond
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to them. The story the Gifts of Insults, spread far
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and wide, reminded all who heard it that true peace
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comes from within, and that no one has the power
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to take away our serenity unless we give it to them. Wow,
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that is a powerful story and one that people might
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say much easier to say than to live. And I agree,
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it is not the easiest thing to do. And I'm
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constantly trying to remind myself that things, whether they're good
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or bad, that someone says to you or does to you,
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even they're gifts. There are gifts. And we can go
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into the WU of it all about hello, everything happens
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for a reason and all that kind of stuff, but
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to keep it firmly rooted in the three D here,
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it is a matter of choice whether or not we
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accept the gift that is being given to us. And
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though those people would probably say, whatever gift is given
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to you, it is rude to not accept, right, some
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of the WU teachers out there, some of the spiritual
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teachers talk about the fact that everything that's been given
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to you is given to you, being given to you
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for a reason, and the act of not accepting it
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means you are rejecting some sort of lesson or something
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that you needed to learn or to find your trigger
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point to be able to process through them, or things
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like that, and those things are viable, Those things are
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completely legitimate. In my opinion, but there's a difference between
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accepting a gift that triggers us and identifying that the
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gift that we're being given is triggering us and instead
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choosing not to not accept it, but rather to discover
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the reason for the trigger and refuse to allow the
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trigger to affect us. Now, I'm just reading the at
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Gartole's book, A New Earth Awakening Your Life's Purpose, and
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it talks a lot about your pain body, and boy
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am I learning a lot about the pain body, and
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from what that book is telling me, A lot of
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times we don't have a choice of how we respond
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if we allow our pain body to take over. And
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it is extremely difficult to not allow the pain body
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to rear its ugly head for lots of reasons that
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we'll talk about in the future episode. For sure, because
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I find it fascinating. But with time and meditation or
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whateverever you want to talk about it or think about it,
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we should definitely try to endeavor to pay attention to
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what Master Kaito's suggestions are, and that is to not
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allow something to take our peace away from us. There's
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a big saying how you only give someone the power
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that which you allow them to have I tell my
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daughter that all the time she comes home from school
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and someone's been teasing her, or someone said something that
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she didn't like, or something like that, it seems obvious
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to me to say to her, well, honey, you're you're
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letting them take your peace away. Don't let them take
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your piece away. This means this has nothing to do
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with you. This has more to do with something that's
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inside of them. So if you just think of it
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in that way, it might be easier for you to
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deal with. It's a lot easier said than done. Like
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I said at the beginning, But if I'm to take
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my own counsel instead of being in the hypocrite that
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sometimes I can't tend to be, I would love to
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learn from my own counsel, which is someone says something
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that I don't like, someone does something to me that
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I don't like, and I choose to not allow them
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to take that power from me. I choose to not
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give them the power over me that they're trying to
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wrestle from me. And we can go even deeper into energetics,
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in the exchange of energies and how they're trying to
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take your energy away from you. There is a book
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that I read a while back, a long time ago,
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that says the way to prevent that from happening is
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to give it to someone freely, because really that's what
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they're trying to do, right when they're trying to get
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a reaction from you, or they're angry at you and
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they want you to get angry back, or trying to
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trigger you whatever, they're literally they're trying to take your
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energy in some way, shape or form, because perhaps they
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are depleted and they're trying to find a way to
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get that energy back, and by making you feel bad
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and making them it's filling them back up again. So
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if you look at it in that way, it is
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them trying to take your energy. Well, this book you
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may have heard of it, maybe not. It's called The
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Celestine Prophecy. I tried reading it again a little bit
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ago and it didn't quite hold up, so I can't
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recommend it. But I did learn a lot from it.
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It's got great lessons in it, and I may not
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have been the right place to read it again. I
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may have to try to pick it up again. Sometimes
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you won't try it again. But the big lesson, one
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of the big lessons that I got from that book
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is if someone is trying to take your energy, instead
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of trying to cut it off, because then suddenly that
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puts us on the defensive, give it to them. Literally,
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focus on giving them all the energy. They're sitting there
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angry at you, yelling or being mean or whatever it is.
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Instead of cutting it off and being angry back and
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allowing them that energy to be stolen from you, offer
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it to them willingly. Just send them. Just picture yourself
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sending them all the energy that you can, filling them
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up as much as possible, because apparently what that does
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is that you are not taking your energy and giving
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it to them, You're actually opening a channel to the
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universal life force energy and you are channeling that energy
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through you to them, so in essence, you are helping
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them without being robbed of your own. Sometimes we feel
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cut off from the universal energies, and so it's difficult
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for us to share of our energies with someone because
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we are cut off. That's a whole other story. But
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if you are able to allow yourself to connect, ground yourself,
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anchor yourself in the present moment and understand, identify what
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it is that's happening, and give them all the energy
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that you can, you might find that you diffuse the situation.
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I went down some rabbit holes I did not think
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I was going to go down to when I first
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started reading the story. But I am letting universe speak
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to me these days, So I hope that you gained
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something from that. I actually gained a lot. You know,
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it's interesting I do these for you, but I do
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these for me because I know that every time I
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sit down in the front of the microphone and start
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talking about things like this, it teaches me things. It
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reminds me of things that I've forgotten and who did
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I need that lesson today? Yeah, lots more coming on
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all the stuff that's happening these days. But whatever it
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is that you get from this episode, I would love
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to hear from you. What is it that you got
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from this, What touched you? What stories did it remind you? Of?
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What questions do you have? What motivations have you suddenly found?
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What direction are you going to go in? Please go
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ahead and reach out to me, let me know what
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you're thinking. If you could do me a huge favor
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and give us a five star review on Apple Podcasts,
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it will help us a lot. We've recently, I had
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a couple that have been less than five stars because
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of one reason or another, and they're perfectly entitled to
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their opinion, but having a lot of five star reviews
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and not just ratings, but reviews help people who are
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looking for shows to decide whether or not to give
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us a chance. And we really would appreciate your help
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and helping us to grow, because we want to make
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sure we get these messages out to as many people
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as we can. So Apple Podcasts, all you need to
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do is set up an account. We don't already have one.
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It doesn't cost anything or anything like that. Or I
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think Spotify now is allowing reviews as well, but it's
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not as pertinent as Apple Podcasts wants. So if you
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could do us a favor and leave us a five
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star review, really really would appreciate it. And hey, if
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you want to watch these things on video format, there's
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