3 Toxic Attachments That Are Secretly Stealing Your Peace—And How to Let Them Go

0:04 Hey, it will again, And yes it is one of my another one of my crazy musing episodes where I just spill out thoughts that I have into the universe. So if this type of thing is what you aren't here for, then by all means, go ahead and skip out now if you need to. However, before you do, I do want you to know that this is, this topic I'm going to talk about today is something that really helped me, and you might find that you are surprised by how it might help you as well might not. But hey, it's a short one, so why not stick around and listen to see if it resonates or not. So okay, Having said that, something that I want to talk to you about today is the one thing that helped me to get my head on straight when I lost it. Longtime listeners will remember will know that back in twenty twenty, when I first created this show, I had an existential crisis. I looked at myself in the mirror and I did not like myself at all. That was the motivation for creating this show. That's in generalizing, there's a lot of steps I went into it, but in a nutshell, that's really what precipitated my creation of the skeptic metapositions I had the time singular skeptic position.

1:19 I spent most of my life in an unconscious life. What I mean by that was I had no idea who I was being, who I was projecting myself as into the world. And in fact, I thought I was a pretty darn flipping cool dude. That I was just the end of it, all right, I was a shit. I was like it. I worked in television, I was relatively okay to look at. I was making really good money. I mean it. It was everything that a person could possibly want, I guess, except that I completely fooling myself. See, because of the things that happened to me in my past, which I won't get into here because it is super personal and involves other people, and until they either give me permission or have passed, I don't know that I feel comfortable sharing completely. But needless to say, I had some traumatic things happened to me in the past that shaped the way I looked at the world, and it was unbeknownst to me. I had no idea that I was looking at the world in this way. See, I was unbelievably angry without realizing how angry I was at the world. I was unbelievably self entitled. I believe that I deserved everything. Everything. I deserved it just because it was me. And I was unbelievably judgmental. Wow, was I judgmental?

2:54 People that believed the things that I didn't believe in, or that did things differently, or just were in a different mindset. I was so judgmental. I judged everyone I met. I knew that that was not the way, and I had no idea until I looked myself in the mirror that day, and of course that mirror is a figurative mirror, right. I Suddenly it hit me because of some actions that I took, that I was about to lose everything. I was about to lose my job, my family, my health, everything. I was about to lose everything because of who I was and decisions I had been making and the way that I was living life. I was pushing everyone away.

3:43 Everyone I loved. I was pushing them away, and I didn't realize it, and then would get angry when they would leave, because how could they I was doing everything for them, But I was doing everything for them. To realize they had to get away from me. That's who I was, and this fateful It all came at one time, and you can imagine what an effect that had on me and my psyche. So I went to therapy like a lot of people, and I had done therapy before, didn't feel that it worked. So I was not a huge proponent of therapy at the time because I had gone to people when I wasn't ready to go to people.

4:24 I had seen a pattern in my life where people left me and I couldn't understand why, and I was trying to cut to terms with why, but I wasn't willing to look at what the actual reason was. Reasons were, I guess until I met doctor Jones. Doctor Jones was a crisis reach out. I needed to talk to someone. So my employer, blessed them, has this program that you reach out when you're in crisis, and I was in crisis. I reached out to a phone number and the phone number was to help me to get off the ledge. They did a wonderful job, but then they followed through with scheduling an appointment for me. I didn't choose my doctor my therapist. They did, and wow, well the day did I get lucky anyway. Doctor Jones was wonderful in so many different ways. But the whole the focus of why I'm bringing up doctor Jones now is because she started me back on my path. She was, thankfully one of those doctors that wasn't about here, take this pill or hear do this. It was more about let's work through it and realize that you're a lot more than what you are reflecting out into the world. She reminded me of the benefits of meditation. So I started my meditation practice, which, by the way, was a godsend because when I went to my meditations, I was able to get away from the trauma. I wasn't feeling the anxiety, wasn't feeling the tension, the crisis that I was in. Instead,

5:57 I was just being with all those emotion was pushed aside, and that was amazing to be. So I did it for long times. I would meditate for a long time, like three times a day. I was living in that in that space because I was trying to escape. That's why I was so good for me. It was so easy for me because I was an escape. But then in those moments of meditation, different things would come up and I. One of the things I came up was a book that I used to be called Conversations with God, or I had carried around with me my entire life. So I picked it up again and I started reading it, and I would I would read certain passages in the book, and then I would pick up my phone and record into the phone my experience with that passage to what I felt, and I would then it was it was kind of just letting it out there. It was just like diary of the mouth, just whatever thoughts came to me, and I then would put it out into the world in the form of an affirmation for me in the way, in the form of a podcast. Right. It was at that point I think it was called My Journey or something like that, but that that was a really helpful way because then the affirmations would help me to cement it in my head. The things I was talking about, well, those things started getting so personal, so so so personal, that I ended up taking them down and instead started talking to people in the metaphysics and spiritual awakening spaces because I was searching for answers, and in my search and my time with doctor Jones, the one thing that

7:29 finally broke through to me that finally helped me to get over my crisis was a very simple thought. It was so simple that when I first heard it, I was like, yeah, whatever. But the more I meditated on it, the more I put sticky notes everywhere with that thought in it, the more it sunk in, the more I realized, Oh my god, this is exactly what I've needed to really truly understand. And if I can live with this thought process in mind at all times, I can't help but be a much better person. Well, this has been over eight minutes now, and you have been patiently waiting for me to tell you the whole point of this episode.

8:17 And here it is. This one little thought is exactly what I needed to change my life. And I'm hoping that this one little thought will resonate with you and maybe those that need it, that can attach their persona to this, maybe it will help you too. So here is that thought. Are you ready? You might want to jut this down because it is way more deep than it sounds at first, But the more you think about it and the more you put it into use, the more profound it becomes for you. The thought is simple. Here it is It is will you're attached are the source of all your problems, The need to be right, the need to win at all costs, and the need to be viewed as better than others. That's it, see simple but deep when you think about it at length, and I understand it. It really ties in very closely with the Buddhist mentality about non attachment all that kind of stuff. But all my life I have felt an insane need to be right, to win at all costs, to be seen as the guy right. That was my whole persona moving into my adulthood. And when I finally realize I don't, I really don't need to be right. Honestly, I don't need to win. And who cares whether I'm

9:48 superior to someone or not. Who cares? Honestly, if I'm at peace with myself, that is all that I need. It doesn't matter what other people feel or think or believe. They need to be let to live the way they want to live. It doesn't matter if they're right or I'm right. In fact, I would venture to say that whatever you believe, you're right, at that precise moment, you're right. I don't need to win. All I need to do is be at peace with myself, be with my family, be with me, knowing who I am, knowing I'm a spiritual being, evolving each and every single day, and allow myself to not care about being right. That was a source of so many online arguments for me, especially in the political season. I would argue, and I would get so tense and so anxious, and how can they possibly believe this? It doesn't matter now. I know some of the people listening will say, yes it does, and that kind of thing, but this is not the place with that conversation. Yes, you do have to stand up for what you believe. I believe that strongly. You do have to stand up for what you believe. When is something as important as what's going on in the world right now, however, day to day things, you don't need to be right.

11:02 If someone says the sky is red, but you clearly see that the sky is blue, what are you going to gain by convincing the other person that they're wrong? Honestly, what are you going to gain by it? Who cares? Cares? Who cares? If you're right, you know you're right, and that's all that matters. Even if you're wrong, that's all that matters right. You don't need to win at all costs. If you're in a competition, if you feel that life is a competition, you are in scarcity mentality. You don't need to win because at the end of the day, honestly, we're all going to win. The perfect thing is going to be happening for us each and every single day. We're not at competition with each other. Let that thought processes go. We're not here to compete. We're here to support, We're here to assist, we're here to help. We are here to evolve, and competition is not the way forward. Folks.

12:02 We are all divine beings. Now moving into another tenet of Buddhism or Hindu Hinduism, actually it's the whole noma. Stay right, I acknowledge the divine being inside you. We are all divine beings. We're all perfect in our own way, and we need to stay within our lanes. We need to color inside of our lines, our own lines, because that really needs to be the only thing we're focused on, ourselves, our family. We can't think about the other person and how they're going wrong. It's not up to us. Each person has an individual responsibility for themselves. If someone reaches out to you for help by all means, that is an invitation to help them at that point. But if they're not specifically asking you for help, step out of the way. That mind being find their own way forward, because we are all finding our own way forward. This spiritual evolution is a solitary practice and policing attachments on the need to be right, or the need to win, or to be seen as better than all that that does it causes us anxiety. It causes us division, separation, and tension. All it does it causes us disease. So my ask to you, just for today, this week, this month,

13:34 this year, forever, whatever you prefer, keep that mantra by your side. Your attachments are the source of all your problems. You don't need to be right, you don't need to win at all costs, and you do not need to be viewed as best. Keep that with you, Take that in your daily life, put it in sticky notes everywhere like I do, and I think over time you'll find yourself being much more at peace. Right. If this resonated with you and you know someone that this would maybe help as well, I would appreciate it. You help share it with them, send it to them right now, so you don't forget we are here to help each other if you are asking for it. The act of you pressing play on this episode and sitting and listening to my voice this entire time is an act of you saying to me that you want to hear what I'm saying, which then, in a sense, is a way of asking for help. So hopefully this helped. If it didn't, I'm sorry, but it's okay. Maybe it wasn't what you needed to hear.

14:35 Someone else out there might And it would be great if you can think of someone who it might help if you helped share it with them, because then you are then helping them in their spiritual evolution as well. Okay, thank you so much for this short but extended version of the Skeptic Meta Physician's solo episode. I really really appreciate you being here with me each and every time you tune in. Know that I love every single one of you out there that is part of our community, and I hope that one day we'll be able to meet in person and share notes, exchange ideas, because I am learning just as much with each one of these episodes. As you are, and I learn every time I get a comment from you because I realize a different perspective.

15:23 So whether you agree disagree, I love to hear from you. Skeptic metaphysician dot com. You can leave us a voicemail or an email directly from the site. Love to hear from you. All right, that's it, Thanks so much for tuning in. We'll see you on the next episode of The Skeptic Metaphysicians. Until then, please please take care of yourself.