If you’ve been telling yourself you’re stuck...stuck in your career, your relationships, your spiritual growth, or your sense of purpose...this New Year’s Eve episode challenges that assumption head-on.
In this powerful solo reflection, Will explores a truth many people encounter during spiritual awakening but rarely talk about: that feeling of being stuck often isn’t confusion or lack of clarity, it’s fear of becoming the next version of yourself.
This episode dives into the quieter, more uncomfortable side of modern spirituality... the part that doesn’t promise instant manifestation, constant alignment, or easy answers. Instead, it looks at how awakening expands consciousness before it brings peace, why insight without action creates anxiety, and how real transformation begins with release rather than effort.
You’ll hear a grounded, honest exploration of:
- Why awareness doesn’t automatically lead to change
- How identity shifts affect intuition development and decision-making
- The hidden emotional cost of staying “almost ready”
- Why growth often feels destabilizing before it feels freeing
- How to recognize when a chapter is truly complete
If you’re navigating awakening, questioning old beliefs, or sensing that something in your life has quietly run its course, this conversation is designed to meet you exactly where you are...without bypassing, platitudes, or pressure to pretend.
Listen with honesty. Sit with what surfaces. And allow space for what’s ready to begin.
KEY THEMES & TAKEAWAYS
- Spiritual awakening doesn’t always feel peaceful, it often feels unsettling
- Why fear is a signal of expansion, not failure
- The difference between insight and integration
- How intuition strengthens when you stop betraying what you already know
- Why release is often the missing piece in manifestation
- Letting go of outdated roles, identities, and expectations
- Reframing “stuck” as a threshold of consciousness
Subscribe, Rate & Review!
If you found this episode enlightening, mind-expanding, or even just thought-provoking (see what we did there?), please take a moment to rate and review us. Your feedback helps us bring more transformative guests and topics your way!
Subscribe to The Skeptic Metaphysicians on your favorite podcast platform and YouTube for more deep dives into spiritual awakening, consciousness, spirituality, metaphysical science, and mind-body evolution.
Connect with Us:
🌎 Website – SkepticMetaphysician.com
📱 Follow Us on Social Media – https://www.facebook.com/SkepticMetaphysician | https://www.instagram.com/skepticmetaphysician
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,080
If you're listening to this, I knew your's eve.
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:10,640
Well, it's probably something in your life that already feels finished, not dramatic,
3
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:16,040
not exploding just done, and you know it for a while.
4
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:22,520
You're not stuck, you're not confused, you're not waiting for clarity.
5
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:27,000
You're afraid of who you'd have to become next.
6
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:33,380
Because the next version of you doesn't just add something new.
7
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:35,480
It takes something away.
8
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,480
It takes away excuses.
9
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,440
It takes away familiar pain.
10
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:46,560
It takes away the version of you that other people are comfortable with.
11
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:53,200
So instead, well instead you stay right where you are, not because it's right, but because
12
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,720
it's recognizable.
13
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,440
Tonight isn't about resolutions.
14
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:03,000
It's not about vision boards or intention setting or pretending this year will magically
15
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,920
be different.
16
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:12,360
This is about the quiet truth that you keep circling, but won't name.
17
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:18,440
Because if you were really stuck, well you wouldn't feel this restless.
18
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:22,160
And if you're honest, truly honest.
19
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:27,720
You already know what this year is asking you to let go of.
20
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:35,120
So let's talk about that.
21
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:41,360
Here's the thing most people don't want to admit on nights like this.
22
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:47,320
When we say we're stuck, what we usually mean is that we're scared of the consequences
23
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,640
of moving forward.
24
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:56,120
Because forward isn't abstract, forward actually is very specific.
25
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,520
Forward means someone notices.
26
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:08,160
It means something ends and it means that you don't get to pretend you didn't know anymore.
27
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:13,920
And once you see something clearly, staying now becomes a choice.
28
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:18,160
I see uncomfortable part that no one likes to talk about.
29
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:22,880
Most of us were taught to think of fear as a warning sign.
30
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:26,600
Like if you're afraid you should stop.
31
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:32,360
But I'm here to tell you, fear doesn't always mean danger.
32
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:37,720
Sometimes fear means that you're standing at the edge of a version of your life that does
33
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:42,440
not include the old rules anymore.
34
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,080
And that's not a problem.
35
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,920
See that's a threshold.
36
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:53,880
Here's what being stuck usually looks like in real life.
37
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,080
It looks like knowing what you don't want.
38
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:01,440
But endlessly postponing what you do want.
39
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:05,760
It looks like overthinking, second guessing, waiting for permission.
40
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:10,200
It looks like telling yourself just one more year.
41
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:16,040
Just until things settle or just until I feel more ready.
42
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:24,200
But see, readiness is a lie that we tell ourselves when we don't want to grieve something
43
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,320
just yet.
44
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:31,960
Because growth isn't just about building something new, it's about letting something old fall
45
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:36,680
apart and not rushing to replace it.
46
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:42,160
Here's another truth that doesn't get said enough.
47
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:46,640
Awaketing doesn't feel like peace at first.
48
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,800
It feels like destabilization.
49
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,680
The beliefs that used to keep you comfortable stop working.
50
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:59,800
The coping strategies that used to get you through the day start feeling hollow, the roles
51
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:05,920
that you used to play start feeling tight.
52
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:10,440
And that can feel like regression.
53
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,440
People think I should be happier than this.
54
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,760
I've done the work.
55
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,240
Why do I feel more unsettled?
56
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,120
But that does comfort it in failure.
57
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,720
It's friction.
58
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:28,480
It's what happens when your inner life outgrows that container that you've been living in.
59
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:32,840
And here's where a lot of people get stuck for real this time.
60
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,160
They mistake awareness for action.
61
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:40,960
They think that because they see the pattern they've somehow already dealt with it, but
62
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:46,520
awareness without movement just turns into anxiety.
63
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,840
You start looping.
64
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,480
You replay conversations in your head.
65
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:56,240
You imagine futures you never step into or you collect insight without integration.
66
00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:00,400
It's what we're doing a lot of the times of this new age movement.
67
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:07,120
We learn from teacher after teacher without actually letting it sink in.
68
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:12,800
We just feel we're doing the work, but we're really not.
69
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:21,920
And over time that creates a quiet resentment, not toward the world, but toward ourselves.
70
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,840
Because deep down we know the truth.
71
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:30,440
Not waiting for clarity.
72
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:35,280
Courage doesn't arrive fully formed.
73
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:40,600
It shows up as a willingness to disappoint someone or to sit in uncertainty without rushing
74
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,080
to fix it.
75
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:50,120
Or to stop explaining yourself to people who benefit from you staying the same.
76
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,480
And that's scary.
77
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,800
Because the next version of you doesn't come with applause.
78
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,840
It comes with silence.
79
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:01,200
It comes with fewer people understanding you.
80
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:06,720
It comes with moments where you wonder if you made a mistake.
81
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,800
But here's the part that people don't tell you.
82
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,520
You're already paying the price.
83
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:18,440
You're paying it in exhaustion, in low grade dissatisfaction, in that constant feeling
84
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:22,720
that your life is slightly out of sync.
85
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,280
That price doesn't go away just because you avoid change.
86
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,920
It compounds.
87
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:37,280
So if tonight feels heavy, if this year ending feels less like celebration and more like
88
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,840
belief, well that's not something to push away.
89
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,840
That's information.
90
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:45,440
That's information for you to use.
91
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,600
And the question isn't, well, what do I do next year?
92
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,080
Or what do I want next year?
93
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:58,840
The real question is, what am I done pretending is still working?
94
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:03,880
Let me slow this down for a second because this part really matters.
95
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:10,560
When something stops working in your life, it usually doesn't break all at once, does it?
96
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,080
It fades.
97
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:15,080
It starts requiring more effort than it should.
98
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,720
You have to convince yourself more often to do it.
99
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:25,320
You feel relief when it stops or when it pauses and dread when it continues.
100
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,640
And instead of asking, why does this feel so heavy?
101
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,720
Most of us instead ask ourselves, what's wrong with me?
102
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,840
Now that's backwards because nothing is wrong with you.
103
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:42,720
What's wrong is that you're trying to keep animating a version of your life that no
104
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,000
longer has that energy behind it.
105
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:50,240
Here's a hard truth I had to learn myself.
106
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,320
I'm still learning it actually.
107
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,480
We don't cling to what's right for us.
108
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,680
We cling to what once was.
109
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,920
The relationship that used to make us feel alive.
110
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:09,600
The role that once gave us meaning or the identity that once kept us safe.
111
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:15,600
And we keep hoping it'll come back if we just try harder.
112
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,240
But effort can't resurrect alignment.
113
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,560
All it can do is delay acceptance.
114
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,880
This is where fear sneaks in quietly.
115
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,640
Not fear of disaster, but fear of absence.
116
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:33,760
Because if you stop doing the thing, if you stop being the person, if you stop holding it
117
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:38,920
altogether, who are you then?
118
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:45,040
Most people don't realize this, but identity loss feels a lot, like grief.
119
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,040
You're not just letting go of something external.
120
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:54,680
You're letting go of how you see yourself or how others see you or even the story that
121
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,720
you've been telling yourself about your life.
122
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:03,000
And grief doesn't care that it's New Year's Eve.
123
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,400
So instead of grieving, we negotiate.
124
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,800
We say, "I'll change, but slowly."
125
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,400
Or "I'll stay, but resent it."
126
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:18,480
Or even, "I'll leave, but only when it doesn't hurt."
127
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,960
But real transitions, well, they don't negotiate.
128
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,200
They ask for honesty first.
129
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,520
Here's something most people never, ever hear.
130
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,440
Clarity doesn't come before movement.
131
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,960
It comes after.
132
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,880
You don't wait until the fog clears.
133
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,400
You take a step and the fog responds.
134
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:43,000
That's why sitting and thinking rarely helps at this stage.
135
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,040
You already understand the problem.
136
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,680
What you're missing isn't information.
137
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:50,000
It's permission.
138
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:54,920
And if you're waiting for someone else to give that permission to you, a partner, a boss,
139
00:09:54,920 --> 00:10:01,360
a parent, an audience, a spiritual sign, anything, or you're going to be waiting a very long
140
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:07,760
time because no one benefits from you becoming less predictable.
141
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,400
Let me say that again.
142
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:14,520
No one benefits from you becoming less predictable.
143
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,240
Not the people who rely on your consistency.
144
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,520
Not the systems that you prop up.
145
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,680
Not the version of you that learn how to survive by staying agreeable.
146
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,440
So when fear shows up, it doesn't shout.
147
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,040
Actually, it whispers.
148
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,080
It says, "Hey, don't rock the boat.
149
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,600
Just get through this year.
150
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,760
You'll deal with it later."
151
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:42,080
But later is just another name for avoidance.
152
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,080
And avoidance, well, it has a cost.
153
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,200
It costs you energy.
154
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:47,520
It costs you presence.
155
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,680
It costs you trust in yourself.
156
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:55,080
Over time, you stop believing you'll act when it actually matters because history has proven
157
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,560
that you won't.
158
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,400
That's not shame.
159
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,400
That's feedback.
160
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,160
Here's the reframe I want you to sit with.
161
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:04,320
You don't need a plan yet.
162
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,320
You don't need certainty.
163
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,760
You don't even need confidence.
164
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:12,320
What you need is one moment of integrity.
165
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:18,200
One moment where your actions match what you already know.
166
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,120
That moment doesn't have to be dramatic.
167
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:24,560
It can be private, quiet, almost invisible.
168
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,200
But once it happens, something shifts.
169
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,880
Because the next version of you doesn't arrive with fireworks, it arrives the first time
170
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,160
you don't abandon yourself.
171
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:43,240
And if that idea makes you uncomfortable, good, that means that you're listening.
172
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:47,840
There's another layer to this that most people never, ever say out loud.
173
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,000
It's not just fear of change.
174
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,640
It's fear of disappointing people.
175
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,000
This is a big one for me.
176
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:57,320
Because at some point, you realize something uncomfortable.
177
00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:02,040
If you actually become who you're meant to be next.
178
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:06,640
Someone else loses the version of you that they've grown used to.
179
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,160
And that's not hypothetical.
180
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,480
That's real.
181
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:14,000
Some people benefit from you staying tired.
182
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,800
Some people benefit from you staying agreeable.
183
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:23,400
Some people benefit from you doubting yourself just enough to never fully step forward.
184
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:29,080
And that doesn't make them bad people, but it does make this complicated.
185
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:34,080
Because a moment you change, the unspoken contracts start breaking.
186
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,160
The one where you're always available.
187
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,080
The one where you don't make ways.
188
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,840
Or the one where you stay understandable.
189
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:46,600
And here's the part that's hardest to accept.
190
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:52,640
Growth is rarely celebrated by the people who are most affected by it.
191
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,120
They might say they support you.
192
00:12:55,120 --> 00:13:00,600
But support changes tone when it becomes inconvenient.
193
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:06,760
When it disrupts routines, when it challenges roles, when it forces others to look at choices
194
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,160
that they've been avoiding.
195
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:14,520
So instead of choosing yourself outright, you start managing everyone else's comfort.
196
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:20,600
You shrink timelines, you soften the language, you delay decisions, you tell yourself that
197
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,600
you're being considerate.
198
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:27,680
But there's a difference between being considerate and being compliant.
199
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:32,920
And compliance slowly erodes your self respect.
200
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:38,560
Because every time you override what you know to be true about yourself, you teach yourself
201
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:42,560
that your inner signal isn't trustworthy.
202
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,920
This is where a lot of people get stuck for years.
203
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,200
This is where I've been stuck for years.
204
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:53,040
Not because we don't know what to do, but because we're afraid of making the choice that we
205
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,160
can't undo.
206
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:59,840
So let's talk about that fear, that irreversibility.
207
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:04,280
The idea that if you choose wrong, you won't ever be able to go back.
208
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,720
That something will close forever.
209
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,720
But here's a reality.
210
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:13,760
Some doors do close, some chapters won't reopen.
211
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,920
Some versions of you are gone once you outgrow them.
212
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,160
And that's not failure.
213
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,520
That's maturity.
214
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:27,640
The fantasy is that there's a perfect choice that keeps every option open to you.
215
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:31,360
I'm sorry to say that choice does not exist.
216
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:36,320
Keeping everything open just keeps everything shallow.
217
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:40,320
Every meaningful life path involves exclusion.
218
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,360
You choose this, you don't choose that.
219
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,680
You become this, you let go of that.
220
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:49,920
And the longer you avoid choosing, the more life chooses for you.
221
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,280
Isn't that what's been happening all along?
222
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:56,160
Well, that's what people don't tell you.
223
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,080
Time isn't neutral, inaction isn't passive.
224
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,880
If you don't choose deliberately, you still get a result.
225
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,240
Just not the one you designed.
226
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:11,720
So when people say I don't want to make the wrong decision, what they often mean is, I don't
227
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:15,920
want to be responsible for the outcome.
228
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,240
But responsibility is the price of agency.
229
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:23,240
And agency is the only thing that actually changes a life.
230
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:27,680
Here's something I want you to hear really clearly.
231
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,360
You don't need to blow up your life.
232
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,480
You don't need to quit everything.
233
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:38,640
You don't need to announce a transformation even.
234
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:45,080
What you need to do is stop lying to yourself about what is temporary and what is actually
235
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,760
over.
236
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:52,280
Because pretending something is temporary when it's actually complete keeps you emotionally
237
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:53,560
frozen.
238
00:15:53,560 --> 00:16:00,080
You can't move forward while mentally keeping a foot in the past.
239
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,840
And the truth is you already know which part of your life this applies to.
240
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:10,520
And you knew when this episode started, you felt it right when I mentioned disappointment.
241
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:17,520
You felt it when I talked about doors closing, that tightening in your chest, that's recognition.
242
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:21,600
So here's a question I want to leave hanging for just a moment.
243
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:31,480
Who would you disappoint if you stopped pretending?
244
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,800
That's the question.
245
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:41,640
But more importantly, who are you disappointing now by staying the same?
246
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:46,080
I want to be really clear about what this part is not.
247
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,720
This is not about burning bridges.
248
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:55,000
It's not about dramatic exits and it's definitely not about reinventing yourself overnight.
249
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,120
That's not really how real change happens.
250
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:02,080
Real change happens when you stop carrying something.
251
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,400
You were never meant to carry this long.
252
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:10,240
Most people think transformation is about adding something, a new habit, a new practice,
253
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,000
a new belief, a new version of themselves.
254
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:18,760
The truth is most of the time it's actually about release, letting go of the thing that's
255
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,040
been quietly draining you.
256
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:26,120
That thing might be an obligation you never chose or a role you stepped into because it
257
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:33,480
was expected or a story that you've been telling about who you are that no longer fits.
258
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:40,120
And the reason it's so hard to release is because it served you at one point in time.
259
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,960
At one point it helped you survive.
260
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:47,800
It helped you to belong or it helped you to make sense of the world, but survival strategies
261
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,560
don't age well unfortunately.
262
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:57,480
And if you don't retire them consciously, they turn into limitations.
263
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,400
Here's the mistake people make.
264
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,600
They wait for certainty before letting go.
265
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:07,400
They want guarantees, they want a replacement plan, they want reassurances that everything
266
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,040
is going to be okay.
267
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:13,960
But I'm sorry, letting go just doesn't work that way.
268
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:19,160
You don't release because you're certain, you release because you're done, you're done
269
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:24,920
explaining yourself, done forcing alignment, done pretending something still matters when
270
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,040
it really doesn't.
271
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:34,480
The quite sense of, I can't do this anymore, my friend that's not weakness, that is wisdom.
272
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,840
And it doesn't mean you know what's next, it just means that you're finally listening
273
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,680
to what is no longer true for you.
274
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,400
This is the part people rush past.
275
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,080
They hear the discomfort and immediately try to escape it.
276
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:55,200
They distract themselves, they set goals, they make plans, but the discomfort is doing important
277
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,200
work.
278
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,200
It's clearing space.
279
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,680
Think about this way.
280
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:05,040
You can't step into the next version of your life while gripping the last one with both
281
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,040
hands.
282
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:10,720
At some point, at some point your hands are going to have to open.
283
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:14,360
That moment doesn't look impressive from the outside.
284
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:18,720
I mean, no one claps, no one notices.
285
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,320
I mean, there's no before and after post even.
286
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:28,280
The moment might just be something as simple as not responding right away or cancelling
287
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:35,720
something without replacing it or choosing rest instead of productivity or even telling
288
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:40,160
the truth without over explaining.
289
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:47,280
Because the truth for you is what's important and it doesn't matter who understands, believes
290
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:51,240
or cares about it, doesn't it?
291
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,600
Small releases, but real ones.
292
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,880
And every release sends a signal.
293
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,720
It tells you nervous system, I'm safe enough to stop pretending.
294
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:05,800
It tells your mind, I don't need to have it all figured out, to be honest, and slowly,
295
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:11,040
very slowly, trust starts to rebuild.
296
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,120
This is what crossing a threshold actually feels like.
297
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:22,000
Not excitement, not certainty, but relief, a subtle exhale, like putting something down
298
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,520
you didn't realize you were carrying all along.
299
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:33,080
So if you're listening to this on New Year's Eve and you're feeling quiet instead of celebratory,
300
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,160
that's okay.
301
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,360
This isn't an ending that you need to decorate.
302
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:41,000
It's an ending that you need to respect.
303
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:47,840
Because the next version of you doesn't require force, it requires space.
304
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:53,360
There's a strange pressure that comes with New Year's Eve.
305
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:59,880
This idea that you're supposed to feel hopeful, motivated, ready, but not every ending comes
306
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:04,880
with fireworks, some endings come quietly.
307
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:09,240
Midnight doesn't change anything all on its own, it's just a marker.
308
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:13,360
A line in time that asks a question.
309
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:16,480
And the question isn't, what do you want next year?
310
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:23,080
It's this, what are you no longer willing to carry forward?
311
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:27,760
Because whether you admit it or not, something is ending, not because you decided it should,
312
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,560
but because it can't come with you.
313
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,560
You don't need to declare it, you don't need to explain it, you don't need to turn it
314
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:38,200
into a story, you just need to stop pretending it's still open.
315
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:45,440
A lot of people think transformation happens at the moment of action, but it actually happens
316
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:46,440
earlier.
317
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:51,880
It happens the moment you stop negotiating with the truth.
318
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:57,520
That moment is quiet, no one sees it, but it changes how you walk into everything that
319
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,320
comes next.
320
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,240
If you feel unsettled right now, don't rush to fix that.
321
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:09,680
People doesn't mean broken, it means something honest is trying to surface, and honesty at
322
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:16,520
this stage doesn't ask you to do more, it asks you to do less pretending.
323
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:22,400
So as this year ends, don't ask yourself what you're going to build, ask yourself what
324
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:30,600
you're done maintaining, what belief no longer fits, what role has gone stale.
325
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:36,760
One version of you is overdue for release.
326
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:42,800
Because the version of you that survived this year, well that's not the one who gets to
327
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,880
decide what happens next.
328
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:54,360
The next version of you doesn't need promises, it needs room.
329
00:22:54,360 --> 00:23:00,160
And if you remember nothing else from this episode, just remember this, you are not
330
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:10,360
stuck, you're standing at the edge of a life that no longer tolerates self-betrayal.
331
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:14,720
So let's stop feeling betrayal.
332
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:22,000
Again, if you're feeling unsettled right now, then good, because that's the sound of something
333
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:26,360
honest trying to begin.
334
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:30,080
You're not broken, you're not late.
335
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:35,360
One has fear, everyone is afraid of making the change they need to make when they need
336
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,360
to make it.
337
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:44,080
So instead of making a decision, a resolution, this year I invite you instead to reflect
338
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:51,640
what needs to be released and then take that first small step towards that release.
339
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:57,560
Because the minute that you decide to make that step, that's the minute that everything
340
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,400
changes.
341
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:07,840
On behalf of Karen and I, we wish you the very happiest new year.
342
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:17,360
And the hope that 2026 will be the most fantastic year for all of us.
343
00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:23,080
Thank you for listening, thank you for being part of our community and we really look forward
344
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:29,160
to seeing what the new year brings to us all.
345
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,560
We'll see you on the next episode of The Skeptic Minifissions.
346
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,400
Until then, take really good care of yourself.
347
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:36,920
Bye.
348
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,500
(upbeat music)
349
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:42,080
(upbeat music)
350
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,660
(upbeat music)
351
00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:46,400
(upbeat music)
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,080
If you're listening to this, I knew your's eve.
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:10,640
Well, it's probably something in your life that already feels finished, not dramatic,
3
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:16,040
not exploding just done, and you know it for a while.
4
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:22,520
You're not stuck, you're not confused, you're not waiting for clarity.
5
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:27,000
You're afraid of who you'd have to become next.
6
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:33,380
Because the next version of you doesn't just add something new.
7
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:35,480
It takes something away.
8
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,480
It takes away excuses.
9
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,440
It takes away familiar pain.
10
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:46,560
It takes away the version of you that other people are comfortable with.
11
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:53,200
So instead, well instead you stay right where you are, not because it's right, but because
12
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,720
it's recognizable.
13
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,440
Tonight isn't about resolutions.
14
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:03,000
It's not about vision boards or intention setting or pretending this year will magically
15
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,920
be different.
16
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:12,360
This is about the quiet truth that you keep circling, but won't name.
17
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:18,440
Because if you were really stuck, well you wouldn't feel this restless.
18
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:22,160
And if you're honest, truly honest.
19
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:27,720
You already know what this year is asking you to let go of.
20
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:35,120
So let's talk about that.
21
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:41,360
Here's the thing most people don't want to admit on nights like this.
22
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:47,320
When we say we're stuck, what we usually mean is that we're scared of the consequences
23
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,640
of moving forward.
24
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:56,120
Because forward isn't abstract, forward actually is very specific.
25
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,520
Forward means someone notices.
26
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:08,160
It means something ends and it means that you don't get to pretend you didn't know anymore.
27
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:13,920
And once you see something clearly, staying now becomes a choice.
28
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:18,160
I see uncomfortable part that no one likes to talk about.
29
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:22,880
Most of us were taught to think of fear as a warning sign.
30
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:26,600
Like if you're afraid you should stop.
31
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:32,360
But I'm here to tell you, fear doesn't always mean danger.
32
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:37,720
Sometimes fear means that you're standing at the edge of a version of your life that does
33
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:42,440
not include the old rules anymore.
34
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,080
And that's not a problem.
35
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,920
See that's a threshold.
36
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:53,880
Here's what being stuck usually looks like in real life.
37
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,080
It looks like knowing what you don't want.
38
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:01,440
But endlessly postponing what you do want.
39
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:05,760
It looks like overthinking, second guessing, waiting for permission.
40
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:10,200
It looks like telling yourself just one more year.
41
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:16,040
Just until things settle or just until I feel more ready.
42
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:24,200
But see, readiness is a lie that we tell ourselves when we don't want to grieve something
43
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,320
just yet.
44
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:31,960
Because growth isn't just about building something new, it's about letting something old fall
45
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:36,680
apart and not rushing to replace it.
46
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:42,160
Here's another truth that doesn't get said enough.
47
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:46,640
Awaketing doesn't feel like peace at first.
48
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,800
It feels like destabilization.
49
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,680
The beliefs that used to keep you comfortable stop working.
50
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:59,800
The coping strategies that used to get you through the day start feeling hollow, the roles
51
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:05,920
that you used to play start feeling tight.
52
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:10,440
And that can feel like regression.
53
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,440
People think I should be happier than this.
54
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,760
I've done the work.
55
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,240
Why do I feel more unsettled?
56
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,120
But that does comfort it in failure.
57
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,720
It's friction.
58
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:28,480
It's what happens when your inner life outgrows that container that you've been living in.
59
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:32,840
And here's where a lot of people get stuck for real this time.
60
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,160
They mistake awareness for action.
61
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:40,960
They think that because they see the pattern they've somehow already dealt with it, but
62
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:46,520
awareness without movement just turns into anxiety.
63
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,840
You start looping.
64
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,480
You replay conversations in your head.
65
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:56,240
You imagine futures you never step into or you collect insight without integration.
66
00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:00,400
It's what we're doing a lot of the times of this new age movement.
67
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:07,120
We learn from teacher after teacher without actually letting it sink in.
68
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:12,800
We just feel we're doing the work, but we're really not.
69
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:21,920
And over time that creates a quiet resentment, not toward the world, but toward ourselves.
70
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,840
Because deep down we know the truth.
71
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:30,440
Not waiting for clarity.
72
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:35,280
Courage doesn't arrive fully formed.
73
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:40,600
It shows up as a willingness to disappoint someone or to sit in uncertainty without rushing
74
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,080
to fix it.
75
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:50,120
Or to stop explaining yourself to people who benefit from you staying the same.
76
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,480
And that's scary.
77
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,800
Because the next version of you doesn't come with applause.
78
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,840
It comes with silence.
79
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:01,200
It comes with fewer people understanding you.
80
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:06,720
It comes with moments where you wonder if you made a mistake.
81
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,800
But here's the part that people don't tell you.
82
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,520
You're already paying the price.
83
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:18,440
You're paying it in exhaustion, in low grade dissatisfaction, in that constant feeling
84
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:22,720
that your life is slightly out of sync.
85
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,280
That price doesn't go away just because you avoid change.
86
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,920
It compounds.
87
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:37,280
So if tonight feels heavy, if this year ending feels less like celebration and more like
88
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,840
belief, well that's not something to push away.
89
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,840
That's information.
90
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:45,440
That's information for you to use.
91
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,600
And the question isn't, well, what do I do next year?
92
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,080
Or what do I want next year?
93
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:58,840
The real question is, what am I done pretending is still working?
94
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:03,880
Let me slow this down for a second because this part really matters.
95
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:10,560
When something stops working in your life, it usually doesn't break all at once, does it?
96
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,080
It fades.
97
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:15,080
It starts requiring more effort than it should.
98
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,720
You have to convince yourself more often to do it.
99
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:25,320
You feel relief when it stops or when it pauses and dread when it continues.
100
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,640
And instead of asking, why does this feel so heavy?
101
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,720
Most of us instead ask ourselves, what's wrong with me?
102
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,840
Now that's backwards because nothing is wrong with you.
103
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:42,720
What's wrong is that you're trying to keep animating a version of your life that no
104
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,000
longer has that energy behind it.
105
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:50,240
Here's a hard truth I had to learn myself.
106
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,320
I'm still learning it actually.
107
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,480
We don't cling to what's right for us.
108
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,680
We cling to what once was.
109
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,920
The relationship that used to make us feel alive.
110
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:09,600
The role that once gave us meaning or the identity that once kept us safe.
111
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:15,600
And we keep hoping it'll come back if we just try harder.
112
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,240
But effort can't resurrect alignment.
113
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,560
All it can do is delay acceptance.
114
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,880
This is where fear sneaks in quietly.
115
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,640
Not fear of disaster, but fear of absence.
116
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:33,760
Because if you stop doing the thing, if you stop being the person, if you stop holding it
117
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:38,920
altogether, who are you then?
118
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:45,040
Most people don't realize this, but identity loss feels a lot, like grief.
119
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,040
You're not just letting go of something external.
120
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:54,680
You're letting go of how you see yourself or how others see you or even the story that
121
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,720
you've been telling yourself about your life.
122
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:03,000
And grief doesn't care that it's New Year's Eve.
123
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,400
So instead of grieving, we negotiate.
124
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,800
We say, "I'll change, but slowly."
125
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,400
Or "I'll stay, but resent it."
126
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:18,480
Or even, "I'll leave, but only when it doesn't hurt."
127
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,960
But real transitions, well, they don't negotiate.
128
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,200
They ask for honesty first.
129
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,520
Here's something most people never, ever hear.
130
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,440
Clarity doesn't come before movement.
131
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,960
It comes after.
132
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,880
You don't wait until the fog clears.
133
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,400
You take a step and the fog responds.
134
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:43,000
That's why sitting and thinking rarely helps at this stage.
135
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,040
You already understand the problem.
136
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,680
What you're missing isn't information.
137
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:50,000
It's permission.
138
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:54,920
And if you're waiting for someone else to give that permission to you, a partner, a boss,
139
00:09:54,920 --> 00:10:01,360
a parent, an audience, a spiritual sign, anything, or you're going to be waiting a very long
140
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:07,760
time because no one benefits from you becoming less predictable.
141
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,400
Let me say that again.
142
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:14,520
No one benefits from you becoming less predictable.
143
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,240
Not the people who rely on your consistency.
144
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,520
Not the systems that you prop up.
145
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,680
Not the version of you that learn how to survive by staying agreeable.
146
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,440
So when fear shows up, it doesn't shout.
147
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,040
Actually, it whispers.
148
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,080
It says, "Hey, don't rock the boat.
149
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,600
Just get through this year.
150
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,760
You'll deal with it later."
151
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:42,080
But later is just another name for avoidance.
152
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,080
And avoidance, well, it has a cost.
153
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,200
It costs you energy.
154
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:47,520
It costs you presence.
155
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,680
It costs you trust in yourself.
156
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:55,080
Over time, you stop believing you'll act when it actually matters because history has proven
157
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,560
that you won't.
158
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,400
That's not shame.
159
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,400
That's feedback.
160
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,160
Here's the reframe I want you to sit with.
161
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:04,320
You don't need a plan yet.
162
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,320
You don't need certainty.
163
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,760
You don't even need confidence.
164
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:12,320
What you need is one moment of integrity.
165
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:18,200
One moment where your actions match what you already know.
166
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,120
That moment doesn't have to be dramatic.
167
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:24,560
It can be private, quiet, almost invisible.
168
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,200
But once it happens, something shifts.
169
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,880
Because the next version of you doesn't arrive with fireworks, it arrives the first time
170
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,160
you don't abandon yourself.
171
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:43,240
And if that idea makes you uncomfortable, good, that means that you're listening.
172
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:47,840
There's another layer to this that most people never, ever say out loud.
173
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,000
It's not just fear of change.
174
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,640
It's fear of disappointing people.
175
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,000
This is a big one for me.
176
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:57,320
Because at some point, you realize something uncomfortable.
177
00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:02,040
If you actually become who you're meant to be next.
178
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:06,640
Someone else loses the version of you that they've grown used to.
179
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,160
And that's not hypothetical.
180
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,480
That's real.
181
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:14,000
Some people benefit from you staying tired.
182
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,800
Some people benefit from you staying agreeable.
183
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:23,400
Some people benefit from you doubting yourself just enough to never fully step forward.
184
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:29,080
And that doesn't make them bad people, but it does make this complicated.
185
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:34,080
Because a moment you change, the unspoken contracts start breaking.
186
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,160
The one where you're always available.
187
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,080
The one where you don't make ways.
188
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,840
Or the one where you stay understandable.
189
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:46,600
And here's the part that's hardest to accept.
190
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:52,640
Growth is rarely celebrated by the people who are most affected by it.
191
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,120
They might say they support you.
192
00:12:55,120 --> 00:13:00,600
But support changes tone when it becomes inconvenient.
193
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:06,760
When it disrupts routines, when it challenges roles, when it forces others to look at choices
194
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,160
that they've been avoiding.
195
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:14,520
So instead of choosing yourself outright, you start managing everyone else's comfort.
196
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:20,600
You shrink timelines, you soften the language, you delay decisions, you tell yourself that
197
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,600
you're being considerate.
198
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:27,680
But there's a difference between being considerate and being compliant.
199
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:32,920
And compliance slowly erodes your self respect.
200
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:38,560
Because every time you override what you know to be true about yourself, you teach yourself
201
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:42,560
that your inner signal isn't trustworthy.
202
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,920
This is where a lot of people get stuck for years.
203
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,200
This is where I've been stuck for years.
204
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:53,040
Not because we don't know what to do, but because we're afraid of making the choice that we
205
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,160
can't undo.
206
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:59,840
So let's talk about that fear, that irreversibility.
207
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:04,280
The idea that if you choose wrong, you won't ever be able to go back.
208
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,720
That something will close forever.
209
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,720
But here's a reality.
210
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:13,760
Some doors do close, some chapters won't reopen.
211
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,920
Some versions of you are gone once you outgrow them.
212
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,160
And that's not failure.
213
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,520
That's maturity.
214
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:27,640
The fantasy is that there's a perfect choice that keeps every option open to you.
215
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:31,360
I'm sorry to say that choice does not exist.
216
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:36,320
Keeping everything open just keeps everything shallow.
217
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:40,320
Every meaningful life path involves exclusion.
218
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,360
You choose this, you don't choose that.
219
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,680
You become this, you let go of that.
220
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:49,920
And the longer you avoid choosing, the more life chooses for you.
221
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,280
Isn't that what's been happening all along?
222
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:56,160
Well, that's what people don't tell you.
223
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,080
Time isn't neutral, inaction isn't passive.
224
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,880
If you don't choose deliberately, you still get a result.
225
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,240
Just not the one you designed.
226
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:11,720
So when people say I don't want to make the wrong decision, what they often mean is, I don't
227
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:15,920
want to be responsible for the outcome.
228
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,240
But responsibility is the price of agency.
229
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:23,240
And agency is the only thing that actually changes a life.
230
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:27,680
Here's something I want you to hear really clearly.
231
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,360
You don't need to blow up your life.
232
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,480
You don't need to quit everything.
233
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:38,640
You don't need to announce a transformation even.
234
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:45,080
What you need to do is stop lying to yourself about what is temporary and what is actually
235
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,760
over.
236
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:52,280
Because pretending something is temporary when it's actually complete keeps you emotionally
237
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:53,560
frozen.
238
00:15:53,560 --> 00:16:00,080
You can't move forward while mentally keeping a foot in the past.
239
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,840
And the truth is you already know which part of your life this applies to.
240
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:10,520
And you knew when this episode started, you felt it right when I mentioned disappointment.
241
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:17,520
You felt it when I talked about doors closing, that tightening in your chest, that's recognition.
242
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:21,600
So here's a question I want to leave hanging for just a moment.
243
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:31,480
Who would you disappoint if you stopped pretending?
244
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,800
That's the question.
245
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:41,640
But more importantly, who are you disappointing now by staying the same?
246
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:46,080
I want to be really clear about what this part is not.
247
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,720
This is not about burning bridges.
248
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:55,000
It's not about dramatic exits and it's definitely not about reinventing yourself overnight.
249
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,120
That's not really how real change happens.
250
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:02,080
Real change happens when you stop carrying something.
251
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,400
You were never meant to carry this long.
252
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:10,240
Most people think transformation is about adding something, a new habit, a new practice,
253
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,000
a new belief, a new version of themselves.
254
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:18,760
The truth is most of the time it's actually about release, letting go of the thing that's
255
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,040
been quietly draining you.
256
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:26,120
That thing might be an obligation you never chose or a role you stepped into because it
257
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:33,480
was expected or a story that you've been telling about who you are that no longer fits.
258
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:40,120
And the reason it's so hard to release is because it served you at one point in time.
259
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,960
At one point it helped you survive.
260
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:47,800
It helped you to belong or it helped you to make sense of the world, but survival strategies
261
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,560
don't age well unfortunately.
262
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:57,480
And if you don't retire them consciously, they turn into limitations.
263
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,400
Here's the mistake people make.
264
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,600
They wait for certainty before letting go.
265
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:07,400
They want guarantees, they want a replacement plan, they want reassurances that everything
266
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,040
is going to be okay.
267
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:13,960
But I'm sorry, letting go just doesn't work that way.
268
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:19,160
You don't release because you're certain, you release because you're done, you're done
269
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:24,920
explaining yourself, done forcing alignment, done pretending something still matters when
270
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,040
it really doesn't.
271
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:34,480
The quite sense of, I can't do this anymore, my friend that's not weakness, that is wisdom.
272
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,840
And it doesn't mean you know what's next, it just means that you're finally listening
273
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,680
to what is no longer true for you.
274
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,400
This is the part people rush past.
275
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,080
They hear the discomfort and immediately try to escape it.
276
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:55,200
They distract themselves, they set goals, they make plans, but the discomfort is doing important
277
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,200
work.
278
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,200
It's clearing space.
279
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,680
Think about this way.
280
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:05,040
You can't step into the next version of your life while gripping the last one with both
281
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,040
hands.
282
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:10,720
At some point, at some point your hands are going to have to open.
283
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:14,360
That moment doesn't look impressive from the outside.
284
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:18,720
I mean, no one claps, no one notices.
285
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,320
I mean, there's no before and after post even.
286
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:28,280
The moment might just be something as simple as not responding right away or cancelling
287
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:35,720
something without replacing it or choosing rest instead of productivity or even telling
288
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:40,160
the truth without over explaining.
289
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:47,280
Because the truth for you is what's important and it doesn't matter who understands, believes
290
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:51,240
or cares about it, doesn't it?
291
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,600
Small releases, but real ones.
292
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,880
And every release sends a signal.
293
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,720
It tells you nervous system, I'm safe enough to stop pretending.
294
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:05,800
It tells your mind, I don't need to have it all figured out, to be honest, and slowly,
295
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:11,040
very slowly, trust starts to rebuild.
296
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,120
This is what crossing a threshold actually feels like.
297
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:22,000
Not excitement, not certainty, but relief, a subtle exhale, like putting something down
298
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,520
you didn't realize you were carrying all along.
299
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:33,080
So if you're listening to this on New Year's Eve and you're feeling quiet instead of celebratory,
300
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,160
that's okay.
301
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,360
This isn't an ending that you need to decorate.
302
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:41,000
It's an ending that you need to respect.
303
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:47,840
Because the next version of you doesn't require force, it requires space.
304
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:53,360
There's a strange pressure that comes with New Year's Eve.
305
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:59,880
This idea that you're supposed to feel hopeful, motivated, ready, but not every ending comes
306
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:04,880
with fireworks, some endings come quietly.
307
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:09,240
Midnight doesn't change anything all on its own, it's just a marker.
308
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:13,360
A line in time that asks a question.
309
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:16,480
And the question isn't, what do you want next year?
310
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:23,080
It's this, what are you no longer willing to carry forward?
311
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:27,760
Because whether you admit it or not, something is ending, not because you decided it should,
312
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,560
but because it can't come with you.
313
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,560
You don't need to declare it, you don't need to explain it, you don't need to turn it
314
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:38,200
into a story, you just need to stop pretending it's still open.
315
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:45,440
A lot of people think transformation happens at the moment of action, but it actually happens
316
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:46,440
earlier.
317
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:51,880
It happens the moment you stop negotiating with the truth.
318
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:57,520
That moment is quiet, no one sees it, but it changes how you walk into everything that
319
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,320
comes next.
320
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,240
If you feel unsettled right now, don't rush to fix that.
321
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:09,680
People doesn't mean broken, it means something honest is trying to surface, and honesty at
322
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:16,520
this stage doesn't ask you to do more, it asks you to do less pretending.
323
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:22,400
So as this year ends, don't ask yourself what you're going to build, ask yourself what
324
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:30,600
you're done maintaining, what belief no longer fits, what role has gone stale.
325
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:36,760
One version of you is overdue for release.
326
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:42,800
Because the version of you that survived this year, well that's not the one who gets to
327
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,880
decide what happens next.
328
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:54,360
The next version of you doesn't need promises, it needs room.
329
00:22:54,360 --> 00:23:00,160
And if you remember nothing else from this episode, just remember this, you are not
330
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:10,360
stuck, you're standing at the edge of a life that no longer tolerates self-betrayal.
331
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:14,720
So let's stop feeling betrayal.
332
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:22,000
Again, if you're feeling unsettled right now, then good, because that's the sound of something
333
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:26,360
honest trying to begin.
334
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:30,080
You're not broken, you're not late.
335
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:35,360
One has fear, everyone is afraid of making the change they need to make when they need
336
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,360
to make it.
337
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:44,080
So instead of making a decision, a resolution, this year I invite you instead to reflect
338
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:51,640
what needs to be released and then take that first small step towards that release.
339
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:57,560
Because the minute that you decide to make that step, that's the minute that everything
340
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,400
changes.
341
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:07,840
On behalf of Karen and I, we wish you the very happiest new year.
342
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:17,360
And the hope that 2026 will be the most fantastic year for all of us.
343
00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:23,080
Thank you for listening, thank you for being part of our community and we really look forward
344
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:29,160
to seeing what the new year brings to us all.
345
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,560
We'll see you on the next episode of The Skeptic Minifissions.
346
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,400
Until then, take really good care of yourself.
347
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:36,920
Bye.
348
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,500
(upbeat music)
349
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:42,080
(upbeat music)
350
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,660
(upbeat music)
351
00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:46,400
(upbeat music)
