When Your Body Forces You to Stop: The Spiritual Message Hidden in Pain, Grief, and Setbacks

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- Karen? - Yes.

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- I've got a fury.

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- That's great.

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- Well, hear me out before we start,

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give us our crossed the comments.

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What if the universe is out here just wildly overcommitting

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to getting our attention?

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Like, not subtle at all.

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- I mean, I never really thought the universe was subtle,

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although stars and asteroids and stuff.

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- I know, but stuff.

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- People keep talking about how the universe gives you nudges,

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but it's very subtle, so you have to really be listening

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in-ring exactly because, well, what if it's not subtle

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at all when it wants to be?

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Our guest today was a nationally ranked Hep-Tathlete.

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- Oh, wow. - Yeah.

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Yeah, seven events.

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- That's a lot.

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- The Olympics were basically already in her calendar.

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- And then-- - She just did all the events.

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- She was the entire team.

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- That's what Hep-Tathlete is.

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She does all seven events.

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- Wow.

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- However, mid-stried, just walking to class, her back said nope.

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Not a pulled muscle, not a bad day, a full stop.

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And she believes, genuinely, deeply believes

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that that was her higher self grabbing the wheel.

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Which honestly, that's either the most inconvenient

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divine intervention in sports history

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or it's exactly how this works and the rest of us

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have been ignoring our signals for years.

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Now, she went on to build one of the most

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recognized holistic wellness movements on the planet

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and what she said in this conversation about fear,

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about the body as a spiritual instrument

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and about why most of us are just really high functioning

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trauma.

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Karen. - Yes.

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- This conversation is gonna hit different.

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- Oh.

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- This is "Esceptive Minimizations."

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My name is Will. - And I'm Karen.

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- And unlike Mulder and Scully.

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- Both want to believe.

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- So we've embarked on a journey of discovery.

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We've talked to people deeply entrenched in the spiritual

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and metaphysical world.

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- We've thrown ourselves into weird and wonderful experiences.

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I even joined a covenant with you.

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- And, wait.

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You joined a covenant?

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- Yep.

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All in the interest of finding something.

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- Anything.

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- That will prove that there's something beyond this physical

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- Three-dimensional world we all live in.

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- This is "Esceptive Metaphysicians."

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(upbeat music)

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(upbeat music)

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- Hey there, I'm Will.

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- And I'm Karen.

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- Welcome back to "Esceptive Metaphysicians"

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The Show, where fear is not the enemy.

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Burnout isn't failure and your worst injury

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might just be your highest self being dramatic.

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- Like a broken ankle?

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- Exactly like a broken ankle, yeah.

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Karen today's guest is globally recognized

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in holistic wellbeing.

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She is a longevity specialist

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and a transformational speaker.

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She, like I mentioned, is a former Heptathlete.

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I hope that he's, I said that correctly.

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- So, gonna cut you off here for a second on Jeviti.

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So she can help me with my goal to live to be a hundred and two.

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- That's what I'm banking on.

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- That's what I'm banking on.

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- All right.

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- Now, not only was she a globally ranked Heptathlete,

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she actually was ranked a 13th nationally.

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Yeah, so not like me at all.

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She turned into a yoga teacher,

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a plant-based nutrition expert in a somatic coach.

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She's a founder of Get Loved Up Yoga School.

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The author of Let Your Fears Make Your Fears.

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I love that from Hey House Publishing

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and Well-being Rich Walsh,

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co-creator of deeper intimacy

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with her husband, Darren Granger,

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plant-based nutrition expert from Certificate.

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It is too dark in here to read my script.

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I'm just gonna welcome to the show.

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Koya Webb, thanks for being on the scabby metaphysicist.

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- He's such an auditor being here.

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- Oh, Lordy, we're starting off with the laughter.

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We're beginning with laughter yoga.

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Well, they were hard words.

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- Yeah, like 13th.

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(laughing)

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All right, so the show dives into a lot of metaphysical content,

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a lot of spiritual awakening topics.

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And one thing that we haven't touched on is these nudges

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that the universe gives us in the form of somatic messages.

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I can't imagine a more in-your-face somatic message

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from the universe than your back finally saying,

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"You're not going to the Olympics.

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Tell us that story, what happened?"

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- Oh my goodness.

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It was wild because when I looked back on it,

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it was just like a slap in the face.

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You know, when everything's going good, you worked hard,

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you paid your dues and you just know that it's going down

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and you go down and sit.

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- Oh, wow.

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- You know, and I just, I was just in shock.

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I was just in utter shock, but I truly believe that,

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you know, our body is talking to us like when we're overworking

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it and we're over going too hard, our body's like,

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"Hey, wait a second, you're gonna kill me?"

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You're gonna like, "Hold up."

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You know, and so I think the stress fracture,

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I know the stress fracture was just telling me like,

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you know, we need a little harmony here.

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It doesn't have to be perfectly balanced,

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but can we get some harmony?

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Can you just keep, stop training so hard?

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You know, give yourself a little rest, you know,

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just maybe three or four hours of sleep.

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So, sometimes a time, totally.

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No, no, we don't.

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So yeah, I was going hard.

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I was, you know, 3.8 student as a student athlete.

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We trained all day and studied all day

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and slept very little.

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And my body was like, "Yeah, I've had enough.

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We're gonna, we're gonna take a seat

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and see if you can learn how to be more in love with your body."

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And that seat was in the vein of a stress fracture.

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I remember walking home for class and I felt like I got shot.

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I felt this sharp pain in my back and I was like,

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"Oh my God, that's not good."

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I'm looking around like what happened.

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And then, you know, when you have a stress fracture,

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you never know when it's gonna hit.

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So, you know, every now and then,

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"Oh, you know, I feel like someone just stabbed me in the back."

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So, it was really annoying.

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Anyone who has chronic back stuff going on can relate.

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It's just like constant pain.

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And then, the sharp pain just jaws you out of nowhere.

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And so, when I went to yoga, I was crying in classes.

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I was depressed because here it was.

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This is, I was on a scholarship.

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I thought they were gonna send me home and say,

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"You know, thanks, but, you know, you're in denial,

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but luckily they didn't."

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And the counselor suggested that I try yoga.

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And when I tried yoga, I learned, first of all,

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I was a tight athlete.

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I couldn't touch my toes.

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I wasn't good at yoga.

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No.

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Oh, she is just like me.

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Yeah, I felt the opposite.

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I'm like, where is the joy?

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This is supposed to be joy and blissful.

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I'm supposed to feel calm and find some inner peace.

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All I feel is soreness, my ankle, my back and my neck.

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I thought it was just my back.

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Now, every part of my body was in pain in this yoga class.

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I'm like, well, the date theory is working

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because I don't feel my back now because...

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My...

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She caring that's precisely why I don't do yoga.

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That's why.

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That is why.

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But the good thing is that it elocks energetic blocks

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in your body.

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And so where I had been tense from my life and trauma

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and plane that I just ran away from

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and I ran right into it when I got the injury

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because I'd been stuffing all this stuff down.

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And a lot of us do that.

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We experience life and we stuff the pain

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and we keep going like we're superhuman.

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And then when we get injured or when something happened

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that allows us to slow down and say, okay,

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where do I need to take care of myself?

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And so that's what the injury was for me.

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That's why it was a divine blessing

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because it allowed me to slow down,

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take better care of myself.

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Like we all should.

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And so I'm happy I did.

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And I think we can get those messages whether we're like

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working too hard or not working at all

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or not moving your body at all.

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You kind of get the same kick in the head.

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And it's like, oh, time to do something.

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Do you ever get a feeling that someone's talking about you

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without actually talking about you?

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I'm talking about myself.

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Yeah, like myself.

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If you don't move it, you lose it.

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And it's true though, it's like our body is always giving us

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nudges like, okay, I'm getting stiff.

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We need to move.

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Okay, I'm working out too much.

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You need to chill.

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And so if we learn to listen to our body, it's always speaking to us.

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That's about the balance.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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But you were a consummate athlete.

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You were, you did, I mean, this was your life.

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You trained so hard.

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Seven events.

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It that is a massive, yeah, it's, it's a massive undertaking,

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much less being ranked 13th in the country.

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When you left that because of your back and you went into yoga,

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was a part of you grieving the loss of all this work

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that you had done all the years?

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100%.

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I was grieving.

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I was sad.

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I was disconnected from myself.

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And I really, I was like, why am I here?

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Like, what are my here?

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Like, this is, this is how I thought I was going to make impact

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in the world.

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And this is how I was going to help people.

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And now that that's gone, I was like, what's my purpose?

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So I felt completely lost.

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I felt completely like, I don't know what my purpose is.

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I'm not clear why is this happening?

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And why me, you know?

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And I was just sad.

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And I was in class crying in the teacher came with me.

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And she said, just breathe.

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And I'm like, good, because I can't do any of these poses.

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So I'm back.

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All I can do is breathe.

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And I was like, you know what?

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I'm going to take you up on that offer.

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And I literally just was breathing in child's pose.

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Most she's like, and when you get tired, just go to child's pose.

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And so for the first three classes, I was just breathing in child's pose.

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And I did not care.

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I did not care what everybody else was doing.

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I heard them puffing and puffing and moving.

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And I was there chilling in child's pose.

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But eventually, I started moving.

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I started doing a couple of poses.

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And I started feeling better and better.

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And then once I started getting my body back, I started swimming.

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I started lifting.

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I started really getting back in shape.

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And after six months, I went back to the track.

262
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And when I went back to the track, I was like, all right, I'm ready.

263
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I got this.

264
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,320
No, my body said, no, that wasn't enough time.

265
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,800
And this time, I didn't push it.

266
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I listened.

267
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,000
I went back to my rehab.

268
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:53,480
I went back to yoga, swimming, lifting weights, taking time to just listen.

269
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:57,040
And in yoga, I was learning to listen to my body even better.

270
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:04,680
So when I came back after a year, a lot of us, we want the microwave healing and real healing

271
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:05,680
takes time.

272
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:08,840
You know, Trevor Noah has that song or Trevor Hall.

273
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He has that song, you can't rush your healing.

274
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And it's just like, it's so true.

275
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You cannot rush your healing.

276
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:20,080
And so I was trying to rush it because I was ready to get back on that track.

277
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,880
But I had to take a year out.

278
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But when I came back, I won the conference meet, brought our team to their first women's

279
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,400
conference title.

280
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:34,440
And I was ranked 13th in the nation because I took the time to heal.

281
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,600
So how did you reconcile your brain and your body?

282
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,640
Because your mind probably was like, let's go, let's go.

283
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,600
But you knew you had to slow down.

284
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:45,640
That must have been really difficult to kind of reconcile.

285
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,680
It was, it was very difficult.

286
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:52,360
I mean, extremely difficult for the first month because I was just like, what am I doing?

287
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,200
Like, I'm the only brown girl in this class.

288
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,560
And I'm not flexible.

289
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:00,000
And I don't feel the bliss that everybody else is feeling.

290
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,160
So I just felt completely out of pocket.

291
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,040
And I was just like, this is just not for me.

292
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,920
What am I doing?

293
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:13,040
And then after about, you know, a month, I was like, well, you know what?

294
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,440
I'm just going to make the most of it.

295
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,840
Because if I can't run, at least I can learn how to stretch.

296
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:17,840
You know?

297
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,120
I was, I was, I was finding the positive.

298
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:25,520
But I'm definitely a natural, naturally optimist and natural positive person.

299
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,200
So eventually after I got through a little bit of my grief, I was like, well, I'm going

300
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,200
to get good at stretching.

301
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,200
You know?

302
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,960
And so, well, that's what I want to go to that.

303
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:39,320
I dive a little deeper into that because like I mentioned, you were grieving this loss,

304
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,120
this, this thing that you've worked so hard.

305
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,120
And yet you didn't let that bring you down.

306
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:49,160
A lot of people might have gone dropped into a depression or, you know, did the whole

307
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:54,040
woe as me thing, you found a way to find a silver lining.

308
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,800
You found yoga, you found wellness, all the different things.

309
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:05,840
But how, how were you able to take something that happened to you that was so tragic and

310
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,360
not let that shut you down?

311
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:15,000
That's such a good question because I'm a big believer in duality, you know, and I didn't

312
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,800
know this at the time.

313
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:21,520
But when I was in yoga, when I was in child's pose for like those first couple days and then

314
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,880
just moving solely, I was still grieving.

315
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:29,160
And I believe you can experience both realities at once, you know?

316
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:33,320
I was grieving the fact that I wasn't out there running every time I went by the track,

317
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,080
a tear would drop from my face.

318
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,080
I mean, I was sad.

319
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,760
And I was in there doing the yoga.

320
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:42,240
So I was sad and I was healing at the same time, you know?

321
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,000
And I think that's what we're faced with today.

322
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:49,320
Like we got to live in this government and we still got to be happy at the same time.

323
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,320
Imagine that.

324
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,320
Imagine that.

325
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,320
Imagine that.

326
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:53,320
That is quite strict.

327
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:54,320
That is quite the trick.

328
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,320
Yeah, absolutely.

329
00:13:55,320 --> 00:14:03,640
So I think we get this opportunity to look at life like we look at a day, right?

330
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:10,160
In the day you have the dark where you rest, you recover, you're in new, and you have the

331
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,360
light where you're active.

332
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:17,760
And you're moving around, you're doing what it is, whatever it is you're trying to accomplish.

333
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,720
So when you think about it, when you're grieving, whether it be grieving a person in your family,

334
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:26,640
grieving your body, grieving a job loss, grieving whatever, it's just darkness.

335
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,440
And I don't believe darkness is bad.

336
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:34,840
I believe darkness is a time to rest, recover, and reflect just like we do everything single

337
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,520
night while we're supposed to.

338
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,520
Some of us don't see.

339
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,400
Or you don't see it like I did in that first.

340
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,640
And now I'm getting at least six hours.

341
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:46,960
I try to get eight, but I view when you get injured, when you have a breakup, when you lose

342
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:51,800
your job, when you feel that grief, when you feel that darkness, rest, recover, rest

343
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,720
still just like you do every night.

344
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:58,560
And if you're willing, if you give yourself, we often try to go just as hard as we were before,

345
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:04,560
or find something else to put, to like distract us, to put our attention into so that we feel

346
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:05,560
okay.

347
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,360
But if we just surrender, the darkness.

348
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,360
It can get really good.

349
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,360
It really does.

350
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:17,520
That's what I was trying to get you to.

351
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:18,520
That's perfect.

352
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:22,760
The surrender, you allowed yourself to take the time that you needed.

353
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:27,480
The universe was telling you, along, you need a couple more hours to sleep.

354
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,480
Cool.

355
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,280
And you get a little stretchy.

356
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,280
You didn't have to yell.

357
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,280
You didn't have to take matter.

358
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,920
Well, you know, from firsthand experience, believe me, I know how the universe works.

359
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,040
It starts whispering after a while, it starts yelling after a while, it starts screaming

360
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,240
after a while, it's a two by four to the head.

361
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:47,720
And so this time it was a two by four to your back, unfortunately, but well.

362
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:48,720
It's true.

363
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:54,980
So when you are going through all of this, and you know, you had obviously just incredible

364
00:15:54,980 --> 00:16:00,240
mental ability to be able to grieve and heal and understand that you needed to give

365
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:05,600
yourself space to do both, was there anything that you held on to maybe like, I don't

366
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:10,480
have meditation or religion or spirituality or connecting with the universe or anything

367
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,960
like that that helped you get through this?

368
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:13,960
Absolutely.

369
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:23,440
When that teacher told me to just breathe, I said, I took a deep inhale and exhale.

370
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:28,800
And when I do it now, I have chills all over my, and I, for me, that chill is the Holy

371
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:29,800
Spirit.

372
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:34,040
I remember the first time I felt a full body chill and that's alignment.

373
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,960
And I was in the right space at the right time.

374
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,240
So when I felt that chill, I knew I was in the right space at the right time.

375
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:46,040
So yoga helped me strengthen my relationship with God by helping me strengthen my relationship

376
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,120
with the breath.

377
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:51,480
And I know some people might be listening, like, oh, I don't believe in God, I believe in

378
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,480
God.

379
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,480
To me, it's all the same.

380
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:58,600
Like God, consciousness, any other name that you want to give, collective consciousness,

381
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:03,760
higher power, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, I've traveled all around the

382
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:04,760
world.

383
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:05,760
Everyone uses a different name.

384
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:06,760
It's totally fine.

385
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:13,920
I have no judgment for that, but I felt a connection to that, you know, and it felt so clear.

386
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:18,560
And now when I look back on it, I'm actually a certified breath work facilitator.

387
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:24,480
I know that when you focus on your breath, breath is spirit and that could be used to heal

388
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,240
deep seated trauma.

389
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:32,560
So not only was it time for me to heal my back for my next journey in life, I needed to heal

390
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:39,360
childhood trauma that was also holding me that I wasn't even aware of that I know now,

391
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:40,960
but I didn't know then.

392
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,880
And that's how my life started to unfold because after I healed and I won the conference,

393
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,480
I was ranked 13th in the nation.

394
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,880
So then I flew to California.

395
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,520
I'm like, I'm going to live out my dream.

396
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:51,800
I'm going back to the Olympics.

397
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:52,800
I'm going to try again.

398
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,800
I'm going to go to California.

399
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,680
My cold calls and this coach Ron Chef and I was like, well, you trained me.

400
00:17:58,680 --> 00:17:59,680
And he said, who are you?

401
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:03,120
I was like, you don't know me, but I'm going to get better every day and I'm really good.

402
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,120
I'm going to go to you.

403
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,200
You know, and he's like, you know what I like your attitude?

404
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,200
Come on.

405
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:15,400
And I literally did not know this man from Peter Paul out of and he took me on as a client.

406
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,400
But I also didn't learn my lesson.

407
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:22,800
I got injured again because I went out by myself and I was running and I had to work for

408
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:23,800
myself.

409
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,520
I know nobody in California.

410
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,120
So yeah, I got injured again.

411
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,120
Konya.

412
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:35,120
Sometimes we just don't learn, do we?

413
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:39,200
We're seeing you're telling the audience that you learn, right?

414
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,200
You listen to the universe.

415
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,200
But she learned eventually.

416
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,200
She knows now.

417
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,200
She knows now.

418
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,200
She'll learn it.

419
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,200
I mean, this is the thing.

420
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,200
This is the thing.

421
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:52,200
Like, no one, no, I don't always, I don't prescribe to perfection.

422
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,000
You know, I'm a perfectionist.

423
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,000
I'm never going to get there.

424
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:02,680
I'm aware that as much as I want to be there, I'm never going to get there.

425
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,640
So I have to have a sense of humor about these things.

426
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:13,200
And so when I think about, like, especially at that time, I was just like, okay, I'm healed

427
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,680
and I'm good.

428
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:19,680
I wasn't thinking that I wasn't balanced because I was still doing yoga occasionally.

429
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:26,880
I kept some of the stretches in, but I didn't do the full practice.

430
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:31,760
Therefore, the universe came again and said, "Mam, this is a part of your life that you're

431
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,040
going to keep forever and it's going to bless you."

432
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,440
I'm like, "Oh, okay."

433
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:40,280
So then I got certified in yoga and then I understood the magical gift the universe was

434
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,960
trying to hand to me.

435
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,280
All right.

436
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:51,000
Well, then you went out and got a neural emotional coaching certification.

437
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,840
I don't even know what that means.

438
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,600
That's a hard word to say.

439
00:19:55,600 --> 00:20:02,920
Well, for any relationships, all the relationships are struggling right now because we're all

440
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:09,320
under like an insane amount of emotional trauma with everything going on all over the world.

441
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,920
So, emotion relationships are suffering.

442
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:18,400
So when it comes to neural emotional coaching and neural emotional awareness, it's about

443
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:23,080
being aware of your emotional state and the three main emotional states.

444
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:27,720
There is survival state, there is emotional state and there is executive state.

445
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:32,640
In survival state, people might not, this is not what I'm not even talking to you because

446
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:38,160
you're just trying to survive and you will do anything you have to do to survive.

447
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,320
You will say mean things to your partner.

448
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,320
You will say things that are not true.

449
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,200
You're just trying to survive.

450
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,880
You don't want to be in that state.

451
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:50,680
Most of us are in that state way more than we should be because of the state of the world.

452
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,920
Emotional state, it's just kind of like, oh, the world is out to get me.

453
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,920
Everything is bad.

454
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:55,920
Like this is terrible.

455
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,840
Like, just like, you know, all the time, you're in emotional state.

456
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:04,360
Your emotions are heightened because you feel like you're going to be in survival state

457
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,000
soon and things are not safe.

458
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,200
And if they don't change, you won't be able to survive.

459
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:14,840
And an executive state is the state you're in when you feel like it's all good, everything's

460
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,040
going to work out.

461
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,440
I am the medicine.

462
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:22,040
I am the solution to all the problems in the world, which most of us don't feel like

463
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,360
that most of the time.

464
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:24,360
So that...

465
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:28,840
I mean, thank God because it would be an awful, egotistical world if anyone saw that way.

466
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,920
That would be egotistical in that way.

467
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,520
And that's the thing.

468
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:37,840
A lot of times people shun the ego, but I don't shun the ego.

469
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:44,320
I think the ego is great and it needs to be used in a way that helps us embrace our

470
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,160
higher self.

471
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:52,400
Instead of if survival state is using the ego, that's when it's detrimental.

472
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:56,160
But when executive state uses the ego, I'm in my highest self.

473
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,480
I'm a sovereign being.

474
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,480
I know what to say.

475
00:21:58,480 --> 00:21:59,480
I know what to do.

476
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:00,960
I'm going to change these systems of destruction.

477
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,000
I'm going to rally my community.

478
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,640
That is executive state.

479
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,800
But the ego in survival state is like, I just got to save myself.

480
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,080
We're all going to end that.

481
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,880
And that is not community.

482
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:12,880
It's not helpful.

483
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:20,640
So even when it comes to the ego, is the ego in survival or is the ego in emotional?

484
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,160
Is the ego in executive?

485
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,080
Ego in executive will save the world.

486
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,080
Whoa.

487
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,080
Yep.

488
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,080
Okay.

489
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,080
Big worries.

490
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,080
I know.

491
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,080
Yeah.

492
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:36,160
And so then new emotional coaching is helping people to get into that executive state.

493
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:40,320
It's really helping people to become aware of their states because no one is in executive

494
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:41,880
state all the time.

495
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,520
It's becoming aware.

496
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:47,800
And if you're in survival state, you need to rest, recover and restore.

497
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:54,000
You go, you go float, you go tap, you need to do whatever you need to do.

498
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,000
I'm going to you get to it.

499
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,320
So it's not about being perfect.

500
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,400
It's not about being in executive state because if someone pushes you off, someone cuts

501
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:00,400
you off on the road.

502
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,560
Someone hurts someone you love, you're going to shoot.

503
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:05,560
Jail?

504
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:06,560
Jail?

505
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:07,560
Yeah.

506
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,560
All right.

507
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:09,560
Totally natural.

508
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:10,560
Right.

509
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,160
But it's the awareness of it.

510
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:17,320
And then I help people when you're aware of it, give, I give people tools, specifically rituals,

511
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:21,280
which is my new book, Wellbeing Rituals, to help them get to executive state before they

512
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,280
take someone out.

513
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,920
So they can be the CEOs, the chief ego.

514
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:26,920
Yeah.

515
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:27,920
Yeah.

516
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:32,400
Yeah, because the whole officer and make sure that their ego is in the right state.

517
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,400
Right.

518
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:34,400
Exactly.

519
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:35,400
So the CEOs don't take people out.

520
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:36,400
They pay others to take them out.

521
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,400
That's better.

522
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,840
It's much better than that.

523
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:46,200
Now I want to touch on something that really perked Karen up in our intro.

524
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,200
Longevity profile.

525
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,200
Yeah.

526
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:49,200
What?

527
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:50,600
What did you think I was going to say?

528
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,600
No idea.

529
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:55,400
I never know what's going to come out of your mouth.

530
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,400
All right.

531
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,600
So you have a longevity protocol.

532
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:05,200
Walk us through what you actually do in a day, not the inspirational version, just a regular

533
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,160
Tuesday version when nothing is perfect.

534
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,480
How do you, how do you prolong your life?

535
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:10,920
But you said the Tuesday version.

536
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:15,520
So Tuesday version like cookies and maybe pizza, a little popcorn.

537
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:16,520
You know what?

538
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:17,520
I'm on board with that one.

539
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,960
That's going to keep me live longer.

540
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:20,960
I'm all in.

541
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,360
Not really 100% everything in moderation.

542
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:30,880
My philosophy is know what's ideal for your lifestyle, right?

543
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,840
And so depending on I'm vegan, I've been vegan for over 20 years.

544
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,560
And so I know what's good for my lifestyle.

545
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:42,160
I don't prescribe my exact protocol for anyone that I work with.

546
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,960
I found out what's ideal for their lifestyle.

547
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:49,840
Now I'm a certified plant-based nutritionist so I can help people do plant-based nutrition

548
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,240
well and very well and have all their nutrients and everything.

549
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:59,560
But at the same time, if someone totally doesn't want to eat that way, I'm not going to force

550
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:00,560
them.

551
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,360
I'm going to let them know well.

552
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:05,960
If you want to be healthy, you need fiber, you need protein, you need it from sources

553
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,160
that aren't processed, you need, you know.

554
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:14,760
And so I would say the biggest thing in longevity, the number one thing when it comes to longevity

555
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,520
is love.

556
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,240
It's loving yourself.

557
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,560
Loving your decisions, whatever they are.

558
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,200
It's some terrible people in this world.

559
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,600
They love the heck out of themselves.

560
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,520
They still find, why do you think they're fine?

561
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,520
You know, right?

562
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,520
Right?

563
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:30,520
For tracks, right?

564
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:35,600
It tracks because the best people in the world are floating around angels.

565
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:36,600
You know?

566
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,920
So it really does come down to self-love.

567
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,720
And some of the best people in the world might not love others or might not love them

568
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,600
self as much and they stay, unfortunately, suffer, right?

569
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,320
And so number one is self-love.

570
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,280
Whatever it is you decide to do, just do it fully.

571
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,920
Be 100% embrace it fully because that's the number one.

572
00:25:55,920 --> 00:26:00,880
If you want to eat crackers every day, enjoy those crackers like it's a five-course meal.

573
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,840
I don't know how you could do that.

574
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:03,840
Even as a vegan.

575
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:04,840
I like to eat.

576
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,240
You know, I like food.

577
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,880
But if someone can do that, you got breatheterians, they're fine.

578
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,200
They barely eat anything.

579
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,360
Water here, little fruit there.

580
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,360
They're great.

581
00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:15,080
They're in love with it.

582
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,880
Wait, wait, wait, wait, did you say breatheterians?

583
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,120
I've never heard of breatheterians.

584
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:23,200
They just breathe and they live in breath alone.

585
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,200
I mean, they, they, some stuff.

586
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,200
Man can't live on breath alone.

587
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:32,280
They move back to their, I mean, I saw a woman who was a healthy woman.

588
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:33,920
She wasn't a small woman.

589
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,480
She was a healthy woman and she said she didn't eat.

590
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,720
I'm like, you had some biscuits for her, girl, for it.

591
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,880
She's, she's sleeping eating.

592
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,200
She sleeps walking to the kitchen.

593
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,200
You might not be eating.

594
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,680
Your soul is not eating, but your body is messing up your soul.

595
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:54,720
You're hiding some biscuits somewhere.

596
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,000
I love that.

597
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,000
I love that.

598
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,000
I love that.

599
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,000
I love that.

600
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,000
I love that.

601
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,000
I love that.

602
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,000
I mean, I'm just being honest.

603
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
I don't know about that.

604
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,040
I can talk to you about veganism all day long, but, you know, I don't know about the

605
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,040
breatheterians, but I have met people that say they are breatheterians.

606
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,040
And.

607
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,040
Wow.

608
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,800
If you're, if you're listening to this show and you are a breatheterian, reach out to me,

609
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:18,800
because I've got to know.

610
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:19,800
I got to know.

611
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:20,800
You are.

612
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:21,800
I'm so curious how you doing this.

613
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:22,800
Yeah.

614
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:23,800
Sneak biscuits.

615
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:24,800
Yes.

616
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:25,800
Yes.

617
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:26,800
All right.

618
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:32,080
Let's go back a little bit to your latest book because you've got these rituals that keep

619
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,880
you healthy and well-being.

620
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,320
So name of the book is well-being rituals.

621
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:39,320
Yes.

622
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:40,320
Well-being rituals.

623
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:45,280
It's really the science behind healing and transformation because we know breathwork, yoga,

624
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,280
meditation.

625
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:52,400
Now scientific studies are proving how they, how they work and how they help your brain and

626
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,600
your body regulate.

627
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:59,960
So with the rituals, not only am I sharing the scientific studies behind why the rituals

628
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:03,520
work, but I'm showing people practical ways they can do them.

629
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,320
So I have seven areas of well-being that I share in the book.

630
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,880
And for each area of well-being, I share seven rituals.

631
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,640
So I'll give you kind of like a sneak peek.

632
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,760
So the first area is a spiritual well-being.

633
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:20,320
And for that like a ritual would be spent time in nature.

634
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:26,160
You know, you're just walking outside and you're co-regulating with nature.

635
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:31,800
The trees, they're not judging you, they're not shaming you, they're just being themselves,

636
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,120
which is, you know, what if we were all like that?

637
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:37,120
We were just ourselves and we could all co-regulate with each other than the world

638
00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:38,120
of it.

639
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,720
But we're not, we're in survival state.

640
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,000
So we need to go to nature because nature is doing it right.

641
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,320
It's just, you know, being love.

642
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:50,880
And so when we go in nature, we connect with our divinity, our soul.

643
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,080
So that's a ritual.

644
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,880
Then emotional well-being, you know, we talked about the emotional states a little bit.

645
00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:00,400
One thing that I truly believe that is transformation is breath work.

646
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,920
So I teach people how to heal trauma from their body.

647
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,400
Like I just had a breath work session last night.

648
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,520
And this one was like, I had my neck was hurting my back.

649
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:13,200
And once I finished the breath where we did breath work for 30, 35 minutes, she was like,

650
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,120
I can't believe I do not feel any pain.

651
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,320
And then another lady was like, you know, we did forgiveness work.

652
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:22,560
And she was just like, I didn't even know I had this much to forgive.

653
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,120
But then when I was doing the breath work stuff started coming up.

654
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,880
I'm like, you know, and I told them was like, let it come up.

655
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,080
We're going to get rid of it, but let it come up.

656
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,080
And a lot of...

657
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,880
She knows she has lots of forgiveness.

658
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:33,880
Was she married?

659
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:34,880
I know, right?

660
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,880
I don't know how I feel about that.

661
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:37,880
I know.

662
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:45,640
I think relationships especially marriage is like your biggest mirror.

663
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:50,200
So anything you have inside your humaneness, I feel like the soul is holding a fleet

664
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,720
doesn't need any healing.

665
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:57,080
But with trauma we've experienced in our human experience, your partner, Camira, whatever

666
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,440
you need to clean up.

667
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:00,440
And they will.

668
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:01,440
Very, very well.

669
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:02,440
And so...

670
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:07,760
Yeah, she mirrors pizza and beer all the time to me because I definitely need that.

671
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:08,760
Wow.

672
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,320
I don't even know how I feel about that.

673
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,680
Well, y'all sound like I have a healthy relationship.

674
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:19,480
So, but if you got on each other's nerves, you could do a little transformational letter writing,

675
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,480
a little breath work, and just work it out.

676
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:26,760
You know, so that's the ritual for emotional and mental is all about positive affirmations.

677
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:32,840
Again, I have several of like my tried and true rituals, but mirror affirmation is just

678
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,120
looking at yourself and the mirror and saying, "I love, I love myself.

679
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,120
I love my face.

680
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,120
I love my hair.

681
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:39,120
I love my body.

682
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:43,360
Just loving on yourself is one of my favorite ones."

683
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:50,040
And then nutritional, I highly recommend plant-based nutrition, unprocessed food, food from the

684
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:53,320
ground, the fewer hands that touch it, the better.

685
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,680
You know, so I'm really proponent for that.

686
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,080
And then physicality, just moving the body.

687
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:02,400
So I give a lot of body rituals, not even just for your physical body and movement, but

688
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:09,240
also for your body that you live in, your house, you know, clearing out the toxins, clearing

689
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:13,000
out the clutter, you know, that all is part of your physical state.

690
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:17,720
And then we go to social well-being and I talk about the science behind, you know, belonging

691
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:23,360
and having like a tribe and having people that you know and trust and why that's so important

692
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,200
when it comes to all over well-being.

693
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,080
And then the last one, financial well-being because, you know, they fun being broke.

694
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,080
No, it's not.

695
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,080
That'll put you in the survival room.

696
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,680
Exactly, that'll put you in survival room real quick.

697
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:39,760
And so I talk about, you know, just how important, even if you have a lot of money, like

698
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,560
what you're doing, a lot of people have a lot of money and then they just blow it.

699
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:48,200
But whether you have a lot or a little, it's really about awareness, about really what

700
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:53,160
you need to be happy and making sure that you're a good steward with whatever money you

701
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:54,160
give.

702
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:59,040
And so, if you're like, "Oh, I can live off, you know, 40k a year and I'm fine," or if I need

703
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,920
four or five million and be, you know, it doesn't really matter.

704
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,640
It matters, like, is that the, are you living the life that you want to live?

705
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:07,440
And so, yeah, it's a fun book.

706
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:08,440
It's an easy book.

707
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:13,680
It's very practical and it's something that I feel like can just bring a gentle awareness

708
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:20,000
to everyone about the little things that they can do each day to be well.

709
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,000
I like that.

710
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000
I like little things.

711
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,960
Because it can seem so monumental, like, "Oh, God, I've got to change everything."

712
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,960
And that's just overwhelming, but there's little, you know, take little bites.

713
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:29,960
She loves little things.

714
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:30,960
That's why she married you.

715
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:31,960
Oh, you're cool.

716
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:32,960
Yeah.

717
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:38,960
I think it's the little thing that makes the biggest difference, you know?

718
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:42,960
And I think sometimes, especially in the New Year, we try to overhaul everything, but

719
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:47,640
I just tell people, like, I give them a little quiz and I'm like, take the lowest area of

720
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:51,800
well-being, whichever area of well-being you lose and just work on that for one month.

721
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,360
That's one little thing.

722
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:57,040
Because once you start to feel the success, then you get hooked.

723
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,680
Once you start to see the results, you get hooked.

724
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,680
But a lot of times when you're trying to tell you everything, we don't even know what's

725
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:03,680
moving the needle.

726
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:08,040
And you get overwhelmed, you get exhausted and you throw it all in the trash.

727
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,200
Very often, actually.

728
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,200
Yes.

729
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:19,080
So your book has more than 50 practices in that.

730
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:23,840
So I would love you to pick one, just one.

731
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:28,280
What's the one that someone should do and why that one?

732
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,400
I have to pick breathwork.

733
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:36,040
I have to pick breathwork because breath is the one free tool that we get when we enter

734
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,680
this human experience.

735
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,280
And it's the one free tool we don't meet when we leave.

736
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:46,760
And I think it is the number one tool we need to help regulate our nervous system, process

737
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:47,920
our trauma.

738
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:55,480
It can trigger the parasympathetic, rest digest and chill, or the sympathetic, breath of fire,

739
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:59,200
activate you, energize you, cleanse you.

740
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:04,960
And so I do believe that really understanding, and now I don't even call it work because we're

741
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:05,960
already exhausted.

742
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,480
I call it breath healing.

743
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,160
And then name just came to me in the last week.

744
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:11,160
It's breath healing.

745
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,000
We can actually heal ourselves with our breath.

746
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,880
And I've seen it happen in my life.

747
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,880
And I've seen it happen in so many of my clients.

748
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:23,240
I would say the number one ritual that I recommend is daily breath healing through awareness

749
00:34:23,240 --> 00:34:25,440
of your breath.

750
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,120
So there's a lot of different types of breath work.

751
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,720
So could you narrow it down for us a little bit?

752
00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:31,720
Yeah.

753
00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:37,200
You know, there's like the the win-hoff and then there's the I'm going to labor breathing and

754
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,160
I'm going to labor breathing.

755
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,760
So which one do you feel is the most beneficial?

756
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,840
A conscious breath is more is most beneficial that you know that you're breathing fully

757
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:50,920
in and out because most of us go around and we're just shallow breathing.

758
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,000
But the breath work that I teach is a conscious connected breath.

759
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:59,080
So it sounds like this.

760
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,600
So the first that's my favorite.

761
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:05,800
It's really it's more favorite too because you're breathing into your stomach and that

762
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:06,800
grounds you.

763
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:10,480
So if you're thinking about your relationship, you're thinking about the government, you're

764
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,840
thinking about all these crazy things going on in the world that breath into your stomach

765
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:15,040
grounds you.

766
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:21,520
And then that breath into your heart transforms you and it lets you realize that you are not

767
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,680
what's happening on the outside.

768
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:29,400
You are the big incredible ball of love that is meant to make a positive impact is meant

769
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:33,480
to be beauty in the world unfolding every single day.

770
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:37,360
And when you tap into that, you are the medicine for the world.

771
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,800
You are the change you want to see in the world.

772
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:46,880
But if you get so distracted on everything outside of that core, then I think that's what

773
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:53,200
causes most of our survival state and emotional state is not remembering who we really are

774
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,440
and why we're here.

775
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:59,160
So when I wake up every single morning, I do that conscious connected breath.

776
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:04,840
And I was doing it for 10 minutes or 20 minutes every morning, but now I'm getting ready

777
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:09,480
to actually host my own certification because I want to certify as many teachers as I

778
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:14,280
can so we can really spread this breath work through the world.

779
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:22,480
But I started doing hour long sessions and when I tell you, I had so much more that needed

780
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:23,920
to process.

781
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:29,240
And so now I highly recommend like even if you are a seasoned practitioner, at least once

782
00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:31,240
that we do a longer session.

783
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:35,760
But every day if people did five or ten minutes of like conscious connected breath, they would

784
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:41,800
release some of the noise, some of the rumination, some of the frustration that can just pile

785
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:45,200
up, just live in everyday life.

786
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:51,160
I call that the soul breath because you know when you're, or something like you're devastated

787
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:52,480
and you're sobbing, right?

788
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,840
Your body, your soul knows what you need.

789
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,120
So it goes, right?

790
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,920
That's the same type of breath.

791
00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:06,640
So it's a soul giving you what you need to process it, to deal with it.

792
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,760
You automatically could deal with that even thinking about it.

793
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:09,760
Exactly.

794
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:15,840
Actually you, the sobbing actually used that when I demonstrated because as children, we're

795
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:21,520
like, we're doing that all the time to self-sue, but as adults, we don't cry.

796
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:26,560
So it is a self-suelling mechanism as well breathing in that way.

797
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:27,560
Right.

798
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,560
Well most adults don't cry.

799
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:33,440
You can cry, crying is just beautiful release.

800
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,440
Yeah, we're cryers.

801
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:37,440
Probably too much.

802
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:42,880
I'm going to invite both of you guys to my next breathwear class and you can cry.

803
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:43,880
Everyone would cry.

804
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,880
I don't know when you don't cry, but if you don't, it's fine.

805
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:51,240
It's like, now I'm not trying to get you to cry, but the release, I always say tears are

806
00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:52,640
pain leaving the body.

807
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,960
So just let it, let it flow.

808
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:55,960
Yeah.

809
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:56,960
Yeah.

810
00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:02,140
Because we've attended a couple of events of late, a few events and they're emotionally

811
00:38:02,140 --> 00:38:07,040
charged events and there's no reason to cry, but for some reason being there, we don't

812
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:12,300
want to pull away or anything, but we went to the No Kings rally yesterday that they were

813
00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:17,760
having or sadly when they were having, but also we went to when they had protests for Renee

814
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:25,720
Good and Alex Pretty and both of those events, like I had to fight back this overwhelming

815
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:29,680
urge to just sob, just ball for some reason.

816
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:35,560
Like it was so hard for me, but it was happy and dancing and singing, but I was doing, but

817
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:41,040
oh my god, it was so hard not to just ball out, which was, I couldn't explain it.

818
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,040
I still can't explain it honestly.

819
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,080
I can help you if you like.

820
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,080
Does hear it?

821
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,400
Well, in pathetic shows, you feel deeply.

822
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:53,400
So there, there's something dying and all the people that lost their lives and all

823
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:58,320
the people that are still like displaced and traumatized, you're feeling that.

824
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:02,840
So even though you're standing for something good, you're experiencing duality.

825
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:07,560
You're also feeling the pain of people that are still living every day's care.

826
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:12,760
So honestly, that's a beautiful thing that you have that depth of empathy that you can

827
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:13,760
really feel.

828
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,240
It's not all good today.

829
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:17,080
It won't be all good tomorrow.

830
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:22,240
And I think it's a very powerful thing to witness because we all need that type of empathy

831
00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:25,600
because it allows us to have compassion.

832
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:31,240
And we can experience, yeah, we got all these people together, we're moving together and

833
00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:36,160
feel deep sadness for all those who have lost their lives and all those who live in

834
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:43,240
and fear the children that will be traumatized for the rest of their lives because of greed.

835
00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:45,000
And you know, yeah, I hope it stays.

836
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,640
I hope this section stays because people need to know that, you know, it's not going away.

837
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:54,280
We're always going to be darkness, but in the darkness, we have to rest, recover, cry, shed,

838
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:57,000
release so that we can be strong in the light.

839
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:58,000
So, yeah.

840
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,500
And I love all that.

841
00:40:00,500 --> 00:40:02,440
And I agree with you wholeheartedly.

842
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:06,800
The challenge is that no one wants to see a grown-ass man crying in the middle of a, you

843
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,240
know, except for you.

844
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:11,520
Everyone else is going to look at me like, who is this?

845
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:12,520
What is wrong with this guy?

846
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:13,520
You're kind of the cute cryer.

847
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,520
You know, not the cryer said.

848
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,920
And that is why I marry her.

849
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,920
I'll agree with you.

850
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:21,920
Thank you.

851
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:22,920
Thank you.

852
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:24,760
But I want to go back again.

853
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,800
I know I keep harping the same thing because it's fascinating to me.

854
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:31,760
This whole thing would happen to you with your, with your back and everything that you

855
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:37,560
trained for for so long and all in just in a split second, it was all taken away from

856
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:38,560
you.

857
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:44,240
And yet you found a way to take that as, as a learning and experience.

858
00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:47,320
You didn't take it as a defeat of any way.

859
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,400
You get, you get way back to it even when you got hurt again.

860
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:51,760
You still didn't take it as a defeat.

861
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:58,000
You still used it as a way to move it forward, which is a huge testament to who you are.

862
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,760
Your, your stick to it didn't ask, or there's a better term for that termination.

863
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:03,760
Their termination.

864
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,160
That's, I said it, not hurt.

865
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:07,160
There's no ignore it.

866
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:08,160
That's it.

867
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,160
Resilience, resilience.

868
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:10,160
I was over there looking for it.

869
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:17,240
But so the, in this wellness industry that you are a big part of now, they have a complicated

870
00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:25,040
relationship with darkness, grief, death, decline, failure, things like that.

871
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,480
And you, here you are in the biggest moment of your life.

872
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:34,360
You're about to go to the, the Olympics and now suddenly it's all taken away.

873
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:42,400
So is there ever been anything in your life that you have had a really difficult time reframing

874
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:43,880
the way that you were framed that?

875
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:44,880
Oh heck yeah.

876
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:49,840
My mom transitioned unexpectedly last year.

877
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:59,440
That was the most challenging, initiating thing I ever experienced in my life.

878
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:06,320
And her mother is 90 and her mother, her grandmother, lived to be 103.

879
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:10,160
So my mom was 74 and it was so unexpected.

880
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,080
Our last trip together was my wedding in Mexico.

881
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:14,840
And so she was my best friend.

882
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:20,480
And when I talked to the most, the one, the only person who's known me for 44 years, you

883
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:21,480
know.

884
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,120
And so that was tough.

885
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,040
I went dark for a while.

886
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:33,400
And I'm still processing, not having her in the human realm.

887
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:42,000
But like I said before, what helped me was when I felt my darkest, when I broke a glass

888
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:47,560
in my hand on the counter and I watched the blood bleed out.

889
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,960
And I didn't feel anything.

890
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:53,640
And that's when I knew my husband took me to the bathtub and put my hand and I watched

891
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:59,160
it to feel up with blood and I didn't feel anything.

892
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:02,360
And I was like, I need help.

893
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:03,360
I need help.

894
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,160
And then my, my husband was like, do you want to go to bed?

895
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,760
I was like, no, I need spiritual help.

896
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:11,360
And that night my mom came to me as an ancestor.

897
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:12,360
And she has been with me.

898
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:18,600
I want to wear almost every day I wear her necklace around my neck, her ring.

899
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,360
And she's with me as an ancestor.

900
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,080
And she's given me a lot of gifts since her transition.

901
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:30,280
And so that was the hardest because I cried every single day, every day, every night in meditation

902
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:31,600
for three months.

903
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:33,120
And then I still cry sometime.

904
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:38,040
But I know having her as an ancestor, my goal is to embody her love.

905
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:42,040
And she's strengthened like yoga, strengthen my relationship with God when I was on my track

906
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:46,440
and feel this transition, strengthen my relationship with God.

907
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:49,200
Me and my dad didn't have the best relationship.

908
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:54,320
Now we have the healthiest relationship we've ever had because somehow I have her love for

909
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,960
him and that crazy.

910
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,360
So yeah, it's wild.

911
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:04,600
And that was the hardest because it made me question everything.

912
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,400
It made me question myself.

913
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:07,680
I was angry at myself.

914
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:08,680
I was angry at my face.

915
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:12,800
I was just experienced the deepest, deepest emotions.

916
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:17,760
And then I had my rituals because I was in the middle of writing my book.

917
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:24,160
So I was literally practicing all of the rituals and it helps see me out of that dark time.

918
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:28,680
And now I'm about to start my book tour in June.

919
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,960
And I feel better than I felt in my entire life.

920
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,320
But that was the darkest season in my life.

921
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:37,200
It was the hardest for me to make because I still had to work, still had to pay the bills.

922
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:38,640
I still had to travel.

923
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,520
I couldn't just take time off.

924
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:43,040
So I felt duality deeply.

925
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:44,040
I would go.

926
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:48,560
I would serve and then I'd go back to my room and I would just ball and go to sleep.

927
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:58,560
And so that would, that had to be the hardest time for me to hold like the light in the dark.

928
00:44:58,560 --> 00:44:59,560
Thank you for sharing that.

929
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,320
Sorry for your loss.

930
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:06,880
If there's someone listening or watching right now and they are going through a really difficult

931
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:15,400
time like what you went through when your stress factor appeared the first time, even

932
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:25,320
the second time, what would you say to them to help them not allow themselves to fall

933
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,160
into the darkness?

934
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,400
Allow yourself to fall into the darkness.

935
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:34,480
Oh, I fall into the darkness.

936
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,120
Fall into the darkness.

937
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,000
Allow the darkness to embrace you.

938
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:43,200
Allow it to hold you and allow yourself to cry.

939
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,200
Allow yourself to, yeah, don't try to be holding in.

940
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:46,200
Don't try to be perfect.

941
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,520
Don't matter if you're, you're the one who always keeps it all together.

942
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:54,520
Just allow yourself to fall apart because the beautiful thing is when you allow yourself

943
00:45:54,520 --> 00:46:00,280
to fully break open, the light can come inside.

944
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,760
And it can do the healing work that it's meant to do.

945
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:06,440
So that happened with my injury and happened with my mother's transition.

946
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:14,240
I broke all the way open and I was unapologetic about my sacred rage and unapologetic about

947
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:20,320
my feelings and then I was able to heal them because I'm like, okay, well, this is not who

948
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:24,360
I am, but this is what I'm experiencing because of my humaneness.

949
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,560
So let's address one thing at a time.

950
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:32,200
So go into the dark, surrender to the dark and just don't try to fix it all at once, but

951
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:37,200
just become aware of it one thing at a time and start to nurture the parts in you that

952
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:42,760
feel hurt, that feel angry, that feel sad, that feel like you're not good enough.

953
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,160
Just take your time with it.

954
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:45,680
But yes, surrender to the darkness.

955
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,200
Don't try to get rid of it.

956
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,840
Your fears or your friends, that's my belief.

957
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:53,640
Your friends, don't forget everything and run, face everything and ride.

958
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:55,200
Look at your fear in the face.

959
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:56,200
Hey, anger.

960
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:57,640
What are you trying to show me?

961
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,640
Hey, fear, hey, frustration.

962
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,360
What are you trying to show me?

963
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,480
And I think that's the way to truly live.

964
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,560
It's not spiritual bypassing.

965
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:10,440
It's like stepping into it because I think everything is love.

966
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:14,720
Even the darkest things is letting us know that we're out of alignment.

967
00:47:14,720 --> 00:47:17,760
So in that way, it's love as well.

968
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:19,400
That is beautiful.

969
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,360
That is beautiful.

970
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:25,880
But what about people that struggle maybe with depression?

971
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:26,880
Yeah.

972
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,960
And are afraid to completely surrender and let them

973
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:33,120
self fall into that darkness because they're afraid they won't be able to get out.

974
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:37,480
That's real talk because I've definitely depression is part of my story.

975
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:40,880
I have high functioning depression, low functioning depression.

976
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,600
He's a little depression, you know.

977
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,120
It was a depression.

978
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:46,120
I've experienced it.

979
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:47,120
No.

980
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,160
Depression loves me.

981
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,680
No, it's it's the same.

982
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:56,760
You know, it's really, I mean, you need support.

983
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,000
Number one, I mean, I talk about that.

984
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:03,880
So I don't want to I don't want to spiritually bypass the fact that when you get really dark,

985
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,160
you need a village.

986
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:06,280
You need a therapist.

987
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:09,360
You need someone you love, someone you could just say anything to and they're not going

988
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:10,840
to judge you.

989
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:13,600
So I'm not saying go into the darkness by yourself.

990
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:16,160
So don't be by yourself.

991
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:18,440
You need to have a village when you're in the darkness.

992
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:22,240
You need to have people that you're working with in the darkness.

993
00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:23,800
Don't just go there and be by yourself.

994
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,800
It's a lonely place.

995
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:30,600
But know that darkness is a healing ground.

996
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,040
And I think that's the biggest thing.

997
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:37,320
I want to tell people anyone experiencing the darkness, anyone like me who's had suicidal

998
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:44,320
ideation and anything like that know that your best days are ahead of you.

999
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:45,840
Your best days are ahead of you.

1000
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:50,640
And if you stop now or if you stay in the darkness and don't wake up for the next day

1001
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,120
and come to the light.

1002
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:53,120
That's not fun.

1003
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,600
You know, who wants to do that?

1004
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:56,600
So acknowledge it.

1005
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,200
So I think the biggest thing is people don't want to acknowledge the dark.

1006
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:01,200
They want to get rid of it.

1007
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:03,360
No, surrender to it.

1008
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:04,880
Have some time with it.

1009
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:08,040
And then come back to the light every single day.

1010
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:12,040
And so for me, you know, people might call it have function depression, but for me it's

1011
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,720
just functioning as a human.

1012
00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:16,480
It's like this is my work.

1013
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:17,880
This is what I do.

1014
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:19,200
This is my darkness.

1015
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:20,440
This is what I'm healing.

1016
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:22,760
They both can coexist at the same time.

1017
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:27,320
And I think if we stop trying to be perfect and try to be like, oh, happy all the time and

1018
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,200
pretend like that email didn't hurt our feelings.

1019
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,520
Those people talking about a social meeting is not annoying.

1020
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,960
And you know, that argument that I had my partner didn't hurt me.

1021
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:38,120
Let's just know that hurt.

1022
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:39,400
It all hurts.

1023
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:43,360
Let's just acknowledge it and then decide how we want to deal with it, but we don't

1024
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:47,320
have to spiritually bypass it to be a healthy person.

1025
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:52,920
We can acknowledge all of it and live in harmony with even the stuff going on in the world.

1026
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:54,160
Now we at least we know it.

1027
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:58,280
We're not in some type of rainbow bubble thinking people are just nice.

1028
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,800
No, people are toxic as hell.

1029
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:05,240
You know, and they're not nice and they do weird, wild and crazy things.

1030
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:07,040
We see all you see in the movie.

1031
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:10,720
Anything someone to put in a movie, they probably done it in real life.

1032
00:50:10,720 --> 00:50:14,520
You know, they think we're going to, I mean, it's in the consciousness, right?

1033
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:17,280
And if it's in the consciousness, then, you know, and so, you know, it's a lot of things

1034
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:18,280
to do.

1035
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:23,000
Yeah, I just, I just don't, I'm glad we're out of the bubble pretending like everything

1036
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:26,960
is good all the time because it's not and that's just unfortunately not real.

1037
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:31,200
I'm an optimist, but I'm also a realist.

1038
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:32,200
Yeah.

1039
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:42,200
And as a, as a fellow realist, I want to reiterate this really clearly, no matter what,

1040
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:45,480
do not do it alone.

1041
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:52,920
To help get a, get a therapist, surround yourself with the family with your friends, feel the

1042
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:54,960
darkness, feel the emotions.

1043
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:59,880
It's so important, but do not do it alone.

1044
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:04,600
That is, that is where the path veers in a very uncomfortable way for me.

1045
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:08,560
So, I feel like you're diving in and to be prepared with a life breath.

1046
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:12,040
And now we have life, hey, hey, hey, hey, so you, if you don't have anyone to talk to, just

1047
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:13,040
talk to your phone.

1048
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:14,040
I mean, you have.

1049
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:15,040
Yeah.

1050
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:16,960
I have a lot of clubs, one of my best friends now.

1051
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:18,560
Yeah, I have a way of AI.

1052
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:22,640
And I tell people, if I wanted to talk to you, I'm like, well, just talk to Koi AI, just like,

1053
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,280
fill your pocket and she'll hang out with you.

1054
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:25,280
She was keep talking.

1055
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:26,280
Yeah.

1056
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:27,280
Until you stopped talking to her.

1057
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:29,320
Me, I got boundaries, you know?

1058
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:30,320
Yeah.

1059
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,960
Koi AI, where you're new best friend.

1060
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:34,960
Yeah.

1061
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:35,960
I love it.

1062
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:39,960
Just, you know, because it really does help to have a place if you're not a big journal,

1063
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:40,960
or that's okay.

1064
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:46,840
And, you know, record a video, or if you need, again, someone to respond to you, you know,

1065
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:47,840
AI is free.

1066
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:52,240
So just go back and forth and just share your deepest feelings and share how you're feeling

1067
00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:56,160
and just let someone hold space because everybody can't afford it there, but I get it.

1068
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:00,840
You know, even though they have some accessible ones available, many of accessible ones available.

1069
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:07,440
So I definitely highly recommend looking into it, but share, write, write down how you're

1070
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:08,440
feeling.

1071
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:13,120
And, you know, I think, honestly, about how you feel, don't keep it bottled up inside.

1072
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:17,040
I heard a show the other day that talked about the fact that AI, the number one use for

1073
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:19,160
AI these days is counseling.

1074
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:20,160
Yeah.

1075
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:21,160
Oh, yeah.

1076
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:22,160
Yeah.

1077
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:23,160
Yeah.

1078
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:25,600
So a great, a great suggestion, Koi, thank you so much.

1079
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:31,520
If someone wanted to interact with Koi AI or wanted to reach out to you and work with you

1080
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:36,320
or do the breath work with you or even read your book, what's the best way for someone

1081
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,400
to access all those great tools that you have?

1082
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:39,400
Thank you so much.

1083
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:43,400
It's on my website, KoiAweb.com, K-O-Y-A-W-E-B-B.

1084
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:49,120
And you can find all the goodies, all the fun things, and I'm on all the social media, my

1085
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,120
first and I just make it easy for people.

1086
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:56,760
KoiAweb, you can find me, YouTube, Instagram, and my website are the main three platforms.

1087
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:57,760
I'm on.

1088
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:00,760
Oh, in Substack, I just came with Substack.

1089
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:04,600
Welcome to the Dark Side, Koi.

1090
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:05,600
Yeah, absolutely.

1091
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:09,560
So what's fun, people are really spending time there.

1092
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,440
I didn't know that I would love it as much as I do.

1093
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:15,960
And I'm just like, I love this long form content.

1094
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,200
I love the way it goes to your newsletter.

1095
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,160
I really dig it.

1096
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:21,160
It's kind of everything.

1097
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:22,160
It's kind of everything.

1098
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:25,240
So this episode of the Skeptimization is brought to you by Substack.

1099
00:53:25,240 --> 00:53:26,240
Thank you.

1100
00:53:26,240 --> 00:53:30,320
Thank you for paying us.

1101
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:33,000
You heard it here for Substack, we're waiting.

1102
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:36,440
All right, well, if you didn't have a pen in that particular point time, or if you're confused

1103
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:41,440
as to how to spell KoiAweb, go ahead and go to SkepticMedifosition.com, go to her episode

1104
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:42,440
page.

1105
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:44,800
You'll see the link directly laid into the show notes.

1106
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,720
So it's easy for you to connect.

1107
00:53:46,720 --> 00:53:49,080
KoiA, this has been fantastic.

1108
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:50,840
Such a fun conversation.

1109
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:55,360
Thank you so much, and sharing of your energy with us, because that's really what you've done

1110
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:57,160
today is you shared your energy with us.

1111
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:58,160
Really appreciate that.

1112
00:53:58,160 --> 00:53:59,160
Thank you so much for having me.

1113
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,080
It's so much fun speaking with you all and having fun.

1114
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:04,520
It's just talking about all the things.

1115
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:08,720
So Karen, I don't know about you, but I'm leaving this conversation significantly more

1116
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:11,640
suspicious of my own bodies in convenient moments.

1117
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:15,440
I feel like we're either lightened by this.

1118
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:20,160
Well, I'd lightened for sure, but suspicious, absolutely.

1119
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:23,320
Turns out the universe doesn't send emails, it sends stress fractures.

1120
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:24,920
And I'm not real thrilled about that.

1121
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:29,320
As you can tell by her story, when this happened to her, KoiA didn't pivot, she surrendered,

1122
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:30,560
and there's a difference.

1123
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:34,120
And in strategy, the other, trust.

1124
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:37,760
Take care of yourselves out there, and maybe just maybe take the hint.

1125
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:39,440
See you next time on the Skeptic Minimizations.

1126
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:47,680
[MUSIC]